We recently spent the day checking at the weird and wacky stuff at the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Odditorium in Orlando. My husband & I had been to the one in Atlantic City, but my kids have never been there.

The building was created to look as if it were slipping into a sink hole.

There was lots of puzzles and optical illusions, which my daughters really enjoyed.

Billy standing near a piece of the Berlin wall

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Anyone who has spent any time at all exploring unschooling, likely knows there’s a variety of ways people define unschooling. The labels vary, depending on how far from mainstream methods a family has moved. Unschooling runs the gamut, from those who simply choose to let go of curriculum but keep more mainstream parenting methods, like bedtimes, chores, screen-time or content controls, all the way to people who have let go of all the traditional controls we’ve been told we must enforce to be responsible parents.

I’ve seen labels ranging from ‘academic unschooler’ to ‘radical unschoolers’ and, recently, even ‘rabid unschoolers‘ pop up in conversations about unschooling choices. My husband, Gary, has never liked the label radical unschooling, because for him the word radical connotes extremism, and he doesn’t feel we’re really extreme. When I use the word radical, I find myself feeling defensive about trying to explain why I’d want to be thought of as radical. So, over the years we’ve been unschooling I’ve looked for a phrase that better describes the way we live.

Although I’d prefer not to need a label for our methods, it seems we need some kind of phrase to explain it to those who ask. In recent months, I’ve begun to think of us as whole life unschoolers. I find it much more descriptive of who we are. What do I mean when I say we are whole life unschoolers? We don’t use a curriculum, have set bedtimes for our sons or assign chores. Our kids watch whatever they choose on tv, play video games of their choosing as often as they want, play whatever in-person games they wish, don’t have a curfew, eat what they want when they’re hungry.

What is it we DO? We trust, because we believe that it’s simply not possible to live even one day without learning something, that we will all learn all we need to live the life we want. Just as we trusted, and have seen happen, that our children would learn to read simply by living in a home where reading was natural and joyful, we know that they can also learn to sleep when their bodies need rest, to eat the foods their bodies need. Our boys learn how to be in relationship with others by sharing their lives with others, both in our home and in the larger world outside of it; we are their facilitators in finding their way, wherever we go. We answer questions on topics ranging from history, religion, health, science, nature, math and more. Sometimes the answer is “I don’t know. Let’s find out.” which leads to searching for answers, meandering conversations and sometimes unexpected discoveries. We also share our outlook on the world, and strive to provide good examples in the way we treat other people, including children.

It hasn’t always been this way. There was a time when we had limits and controls. We enforced bedtimes to fit our oldest son’s school schedule. When he was young I tried to force the ‘right’ diet, I limited tv shows (no Simpsons!); I even assigned chores. At the time I felt I had no choice but to listen to those around me, telling me what I ‘must’ do, even though in my heart I could see that it wasn’t working for us. It wasn’t just that those methods didn’t work for our children, they didn’t work for us as parents either. Imposed limits and demands make people unhappy, so of course, the same limits and demands make children unhappy. Being controlled certainly didn’t add to their happiness, and I wanted happy children. I was heartbroken at what that did to our relationship with our kids. Not only that, it made me ask why I was treating them this way, especially since I wasn’t convinced it was necessary to limit and control them.

When I found unschooling, I also found parents who had managed to create the family life I wanted; parents who weren’t frustrated by trying to control their children. They had happy children, who were kind and capable, and they had this without fighting or punishment. As I started to let go of my fears about how our boys would turn out if I ‘broke the rules’ I found we were all happier. And happier is good.

In our culture, there’s a pervasive belief that happiness will be ours someday. We grow up being told that someday we’ll be happy, when we’re adults it will be ‘our turn’ to have things our way. Why wait for that elusive someday? Why not be happy today? How can we help our children be happy today? Is it fair or loving to tell children they must wait for their turn to be happy? Why wouldn’t a parent want their child to be happy; to feel, to know deep in his soul, that he’s loved and celebrated and supported and completely free to revel in what brings him joy?

When I’m asked “Why whole-life unschooling?” my answer is because, ultimately, we can’t imagine any other way of living. It’s only natural when something brings as much joy, freedom and wonder as unschooling does, that we would want to extend that to all areas of our life.

Written by Sylvia Toyama

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When my daughter Jacqueline was seven years old, she asked if I could buy some stories that explained math. She was becoming more and more interested in how math fit into her world and had started to take notice of it in movies, TV shows and by watching my husband & I. She had a basic understanding of addition and telling time but she was more interested in math as a whole, not broken down into subjects.

After a few online searches, we bought Sir Cumference and the First Round Table, Sir Cumference and the Dragon of Pi and The Grapes Of Math. All three books are visually appealing, creative and fun.

It wasn’t until I started to understand how unschooling works that I saw math in a different light. School has a way of making so many children think they’re failures in math, when in fact, they’re not. They’re just not learning it the way school is teaching it.

Now, at nine years old, she has no fear of math. She wants to learn calculus after watching Apollo 13. She invests in the stock market and has her own Ameritrade account. She found out that the calculator on our PC has a scientific mode and loves to play around with it. She wants to understand E=mc2. This, from a child that has never been forced to learn math. She just thinks it’s fun to learn this stuff. It’s interesting to her.

Collection of Thoughts on Unschooling Math:

I’d like to share something that I had saved when I first began unschooling. It’s an exchange (from the old message boards at unschooling.com) between a member who was having some concerns (whose posts are in italics) and Joyce Fetteroll. Be warned…..it’s very long, but for those who are interested it has lots of great info.

**I have a degree in computer engineering from MIT and there are definitely prereqs. in math that I think my son would need for most math, science, engineering, or computer majors.**

Joyce: I have a degree in Electrical Engineering from Carnegie Mellon University. I certainly agreed with your assumptions about math when I first started reading about unschooling. I, too, was a victim of contextless, rote-learned math. It really seemed the only way. There were specific ways to do addition, multiplication, division, and on up the math scale that just had to be explained step by step and sat down and practiced ad nauseum. And what child was going to put in all those necessary hours on her own?

It took me several years of reading what other unschoolers had to say but it really wasn’t until I saw my daughter actually manipulating numbers without being specifically shown how that I understood how unschooling could work with math.

The problem with school math, and as far as I’ve seen all math curriculums, is they start kids off immediately with the abstract. A child may be able to see they have one brother and one sister and therefore have two siblings, or one gray cat and one yellow cat to make two cats, but put 1+1 on paper it becomes incredibly abstract. Why would anyone want to add 73+48? The process is meaningless. The answer is meaningless. It has no context.

Many math programs do have kids adding sorting bears or manipulating rods or any number of other hands-on things, but they’re still basically meaningless. The teacher has created the problem and dumped it on the child. Why does anyone want to know how many blue bears there are? Why are the red and blue bears being added together?

Now, on the other hand, my daughter is quite intrigued to find out how many Jurassic dinos she has versus Triassic. How many plant eaters versus meat eaters. (And whatever other classifications she can come up with, limited only by her imagination — versus the 2 or 3 categories of the sorting bears.) How many years separated the various ages of the dinos. The heights and weights of them.

And though counting and graphing M&M’s by number and color seems the same as doing these same things with the counting bears, it’s not. She’s gaining information in the form of patterns and relationships (that are often expressed as numbers) about her own world, things she cares about.

Obviously there’s only so far counting will get you in life but we manipulate all sorts of numbers in her life and I make sure she’s immersed in patterns and relationships between various things in her life for her to examine (or not). Like fractions in cooking and time: “Since the cup is dirty, how can I make 1 1/2 cups?” “The recipe calls for 1 Tablespoon but we’re cutting it in half. And a Tablespoon is 3 teaspoons. So what would that be?” “It’s an hour and a half or 3 Bill Nyes until Daddy comes home.” “It’s 20 minutes or a third of an hour until Xena comes on.” Though learning to take 1/3 of 60 is more universally applicable, she can *feel* the 20 minutes wait out of 60 minutes and she can get the feel that fractions are ways of relating one thing to another. Decimals come up with money. Percentages come up with sales, tax, food labels, possibility of winning a contest, shrinking an image in a paint program.

She’s gaining a feel for the contexts the various concepts are used in, she sees me manipulating them and helping her manipulate them. And in the course she’s adding pieces to the puzzle of her world, making new patterns and relationships clearer.

Up until recently we’ve done zero in the way of formal math. Only a few months ago she wasn’t totally consistent on her addition but I asked her if she knew what 8×5 was. She said that was 16 +16 + 8. Not 8+8+8+8+8, which would have been a good answer showing she understood the concept of multiplication, but she manipulated the numbers properly into something she could feel more intuitively.

Recently she has been doing paper and pencil math under protest. Sort of.

She wants to earn money for Pokemon cards. I buy the packs at any where from $4-$6 a piece, pull out the trainer cards and then calculate how much she needs to pay for each Pokemon card. (Or have her do it for a whole card, though that’s still a bit beyond her true understanding even if she does get the answer right.) I suggested all sorts of household tasks for her to earn 25 cents or a dollar or whatever which were met with groans. (She even turned down $2 to clean out the floor of my car! I suggested she do pages in the Miquon math workbooks that have been gathering dust on the shelf at 10 cents per page. Being a low energy child (like her mother she usually opts for the math.

She’s getting much better at the pages, but I can still see a huge difference between what she does on paper versus what she does with the real meaningful numbers in her life. She quickly calculates in her head how much she’s earned and how much she needs and how much she’ll have left over after buying a card, tells me how many 36 cent cards she can get with her $2 allowance versus how many 41 cent ones. (And she does this without drills and without pages of workbook practice, just from messing around with the numbers in her life in a very low key way — the stuff she’s doing in the workbooks is actually much simpler.) She told me the way she figured out 16+16 was it was just 10+10 then 6+6 which is 12 which is 10+2, so that was 10+10+10+2 or 32. She’s discovering for herself how to break numbers apart and play around with them. And she knows why someone would want to do that. If it were taught in a book, it would take weeks and most kids would still be baffled about what the purpose of it was.

Pencil and paper math and head math are different. The pencil and paper math are a new language she’s learning. And yet, I’m quite confident if we had gone on without much pencil and paper stuff (other than the normal things that come up in life) she would have caught onto it way quicker in a couple of years without the agony she was putting herself through.

But that’s obviously a far way from algebra and trig and calc.

Someone pointed out that algebra is just figuring out what you don’t know from what you do know. Now how did I get all the way through engineering school without realizing that insight? Maybe because I enjoyed identifying the problem types and figuring out which methodology to apply to them. It didn’t make any difference whether I truly understood why I was doing what I was doing. The fun was it worked. Because that’s how algebra is taught. It’s all about practicing manipulating different types of equations. It’s not about what those equations mean. Or why anyone would want to write a quadratic equation let alone solve it. It’s all just preparation for potential contexts. But the equations themselves have no context. They’re meaningless. (Unless you’re one of the “good” ones who rise to the surface through this bizarre math-teaching process just because you happen to like to manipulate equations for the sake of manipulating equations.)

Quadratic equations don’t come up in real life often, but I can help my daughter to think algebraically when we tackle real life problems. (I may be doing it already unconsciously, but you’ll have to wait a few years for me to be conscious enough of it to provide real life examples of her using it.

Of course that isn’t enough to get her into CMU. Or into MIT either

Now, given the choice, I’m quite certain I wouldn’t have gotten in enough math on my own to get into CMU. So what makes me certain my daughter will?

Well, I’m not certain, but what leads me to believe that my daughter’s outlook will be different is, for one thing, I was the victim of force-fed learning. I needed to be force fed math because I’d always been force fed learning. I needed to be force fed school math because it had no relationship to my own world. I didn’t need it. I can’t imagine learning what I learned on my own because the only thing I have to base my imaginings on are the process I went through.

What I can imagine, though, is being so intrigued by something that the math gets learned because it makes what I’m interested in make sense. I can imagine forcing myself to learn something in order to achieve something else. (HTML comes to mind Though that was more a combination of both of them.)

What my daughter has going for her is a different experience with math. Other than the workbook pages , she’s used to seeing math as a tool. She’s used to using math because she wants the information it can give her. So when she gets to high school, she won’t have the memory of 8 previous years of drudgework associated with math.

She’ll also have a better foundation of understanding what she’s doing. Though she might be behind her PS counterparts in calculation speed, she’ll be ahead in understanding what the processes mean. (But the speed will depend on her. If she feels working around gaps in her multiplication tables is more annoying than learning the tables — and if she knows that drilling them or doing other things will help her (and it’s my job to help her learn to identify when a problem exists and to seek out solutions) — then she’ll learn them. If not, she won’t. (I still have gaps in my tables.)

So she’ll hit her high school years with a different attitude towards math and learning math. (And this really applies to all subjects.)

But will she be able to pick up all the math she needs to get into college just by living? Well, yes and no. This is where it gets hard to explain because our thinking is based on oodles more assumptions.

It’s so easy to project a schooled teen (which includes most of us) as a normal teen and assume all kids given the chance will watch TV and eat concoctions centering on sugar, fat and salt all day and want nothing more in life than 256 channels and a clicker in the hand That behavior is caused by the stress of school (and a lot of other factors. I have another rant about being forced to spend 12 years working towards a vague goal that someone else has chosen for you. But in an environment where the adults and everyone else in the family are curious about life, where everyone’s interests are taken seriously (even the so-called non-educational ones), the kids are actively curious too. There’s no reason for them to want to shut their brains down as a life’s goal. (Which doesn’t mean my daughter doesn’t watch TV. At times she even watches a lot of TV. But she chooses it for other reason than shutting off the world. (Though that’s a legitimate use too. It’s just that she doesn’t have to spend a goodly portion of her free time recovering from 6 hours of force fed learning in a high-stress environment everyday.)

Had unschooling been thrust upon me as a teen, I imagine I would have spent as much time as possible doing nothing. It’s hard to imagine a teen learning on their own something that we ourselves would avoid. It seems obvious that given the choice most teens would avoid Shakespeare or American History or Algebra or whatever school made us hate because we know we’d avoid it. But, given a choice, would we have avoided it because it’s inherently dull or because school made it dull? It isn’t fair to assume the behavior of a schooled teen is normal behavior. The only experience schooled kids have had with most subjects is dull textbooks. The life has been sucked out of all subjects for them. Why would they pursue them on their own? Especially if they assume the only way to learn them in a worthwhile way is the way schools teach them?

There’s no reason for my daughter to avoid learning because she’s never been forced to do it. To her learning is something you do to find out more about what you’re interested in and to become better at it. It’s not something someone makes you do because they tell you you need it.

She will avoid learning in ways that aren’t natural for her or don’t suit her needs. Some kids like workbooks. That doesn’t make them better learners than those kids who don’t. It just means they learn differently. She will avoid learning anything that isn’t relevant to what she wants to do or is interested in. Which makes parents nervous for two reasons:

1) What if she never gets interested? It’s possible she won’t on her own. But it’s my job/pleasure to run as much of the world in front of her as possible. The broader her experiences, the more likely something will connect to something else in her life and be relevant. (Though I can’t depend on when.) Everything is connected to everything else. And everything relevant is inherently interesting.

But it’s also possible she won’t get interested in something “important”. Math? Writing? Chemistry? If she has absolutely no interest in it, then it’s unlikely she’ll be drawn to a profession that needs it to an extent greater than she can pick up by living. Though she won’t leave the house without being able to figure out sales tax or write a letter to a friend or know that baking powder is important in cookies because she’ll have used those. She’ll have enough to get by. But it’s possible she’ll need higher math than she has. Or better writing skills. Or an entire chemistry course. Well, if it’s just chemistry standing in her way, wouldn’t it make sense for her to go down to the community college and take it rather than deciding on a different career just because of one course? And if that’s too much trouble, how much did she want that career anyway?

But math and writing? Well, I hope something I’m saying here helps you see why I believe there’s a middle ground between “no math” and 4 years of high school math from textbooks. And writing I talk about below.

2) And the second reason it makes parents nervous is supposedly there are things kids need to learn that they won’t need until college. And supposedly it takes 12 years to learn them.

But does it? Does it take 12 years to learn math? Or does it take 12 years for schools to force feed a child math (and writing and history, et al) by the methods they need to use to force feed 30 kids at a time? Methods which are also limited to ways that can result in outcomes that can be tested to demonstrate progress. Also limited only to methods that must be progressive along a specific track so the next year’s teacher can pick up where the previous teacher left off. Does math need taught that way? Or do schools need to teach it that way to satisfy the needs of schools as assembly lines?

In a way, school math is rather like learning to spell thousands of words and decline hundreds of verbs of a foreign language without hearing that foreign language spoken. The rationale being that once all the parts are learned, the whole can be built from that. But how many kids survive the rote process? How many kids conclude not before long that the language is useless because the parts have no meaning? My daughter is hearing the language and using it, without formally declining the verbs and learning the spellings. Even if she’d never been exposed to reading it (but already had the decoding skills from reading English) how long would it take her to learn to read that foreign language after having learned it from using it?

Once my daughter has a thorough understanding of what it means to do division, she won’t need umpty gajillion problems to practice. Once she has a thorough understanding of problems with a range of potential solutions (programming and robotics come right to mind), and has encountered and understood powers and negative numbers she won’t need years of practice to grasp algebra.

My job is to make sure there are reasons in my daughter’s environment to need the skills and see them being used. (Just as I talked to her well before she could talk.) Though she finds a lot of uses for the skills on her own, given the freedom to do so. There’s no reason for her to avoid writing or reading or math (until the workbooks) on her own because she’s never been forced to do them. The hard part is waiting for her timescale. I need to wait until these things are internally important to her. I can’t worry, well, she’s 8 now and should be doing … because natural learning doesn’t have anything to do with calendars and time schedules. It has to do with needs.

If she has a goal in mind, she won’t have anything except natural barriers between her and it. She won’t have what someone thinks she needs to get there and someone else’s way she needs to get it standing in her way. If she decides to become a vet, she’ll know what colleges require for her to get there. If her desire is strong enough, she’ll learn what she needs to learn because she wants what the learning can get for her. (Desire is an incredible motivator.) And most importantly she’ll have better resources to achieve it than sitting down with a textbook and slogging through it. (Though that’s an option too. Fortunately she won’t have the history of slogging through textbooks putting up a psychological barrier for her.) She’ll have a good foundation of understanding math concepts and will see it and other math being used (and use it herself) as she explores what it takes to be a vet: taking care of animals, working in a vet office or a horse stable.

**So, if your kids aren’t prepared enough to go to a university, then you assume that they will be motivated to study once they get rejected?**

Joyce: The answer to this one is probably obvious from the above. No, I don’t expect rejection to spur her. I expect wanting to do something will spur her to do something. And perhaps that something won’t even be college. I too had visions of my daughter going onto CMU or MIT. But now my vision has shifted from preparing her to be anything she wants to be to helping her be the best her she can be. Yet I’m not sitting around waiting to pounce on her interests to nurture them. I’m also directing things through her world that I think are important or I think will interest her. When (if ever) she picks up on them is up to her. The more important I think something is, the more likely I’ll keep directing it in her path in a way that will interest her, or connect it to something she is interested in.

** We do provide a very stimulating environment. We have books and materials everywhere. Lots of interesting folks float in and out of our home and office. While my 9 yo son likes to read and mess around with the computer, he wouldn’t ever just open up a math book.**

Joyce: Nor would most kids. For a child to choose the more formal learning in a book requires an interest and need that the book can fulfill. The environment may be there, but he’s not ready to ask the questions that the books will answer for him. Or he may be discovering the answers on his own through self-discovery or talking to people. Unfortunately for nervous parents, you can’t put unschooling on a time schedule. You can’t set up the environment and expect there to be a specific outcome at a specific time. (Though I can just about guarantee that if the innate talent or desire is in him for what the computers and people and books can provide, by the time he’s 14 he’ll have sucked the environment for all it’s worth 9 is way too soon for most kids to be doing more than playing around with things and exploring broadly. They may be delving deeply into some things, but the cognitive development necessary to make them open a math book for information just isn’t there until the teen years. (Of course there’re always exceptions. But do the exceptions mean that the nonexceptions are falling behind? Or are the nonexceptions just learning other perhaps less obvious things? A HS’d friend of my daughter’s has at 8 read all the Little House books and all their sequels and is well into other historical novels. Am I jealous? Well, yeah, of course Yet my daughter is, less obviously, picking up bits and pieces of world and American history. She’s gaining a broad overview of it all, expanding some bits here and there as she finds out more about someone or something she’s heard interesting things about. Is one learner better than the other or are they just different?)

**My son also wouldn’t write anything on paper, which I understand is fairly typical for boys. Writing skills don’t progress overnight.**

Joyce: Who says? Okay, not overnight, but does it take years of practice? Or does it take years of using the skills in ways that are meaningful for the learner?

**Are you saying that I should encourage, but not demand? I am still missing something in terms of how this unschooling plays out.**

Joyce: How well would you learn Hindi if someone decided it would be important for your future because they used Hindi in their lives and so made you practice for the next 10 years? Wouldn’t your goal be to learn as little as possible to satisfy them? But if you were moving to India, then wouldn’t learning Hindi take way less time?

What your son needs is being immersed in an environment where it’s important to communicate his ideas. He also needs to see others using communication in a meaningful way and to read and hear others communicating in various ways. When he needs to communicate using the written word, he will.

In the meantime, you can make sure he has access to the skills. Listen to a variety of things: conversation, books and books on tape, comic books, movies (reading the scripts of favorites is really cool), plays, puppet shows, poetry, folk tales, nonfiction, cereal boxes, TV Guide, political talk shows, lyrics, ministers, magazine articles, Nintendo magazine, science shows, letters to the editor. Anything as long as he’s interested. He needs to hear good (and bad) literature so his ear can learn the rhythms of language. I’ve pointed out to my daughter why it’s tough for me to read the Magic Tree House books outloud to her and she can now pick up on parts that sound awkward. (It wasn’t a lesson, just an outgrowth of a natural discussion. Which is probably the heart of unschooling: just talking naturally about things that happen along. Despite the fact that I’m not a great talker, some amazing things have come up in conversation.) It has probably inadvertently sowed the seed of her being more conscious of there being a range of how well written things are. She would have learned that anyway though perhaps unconsciously.

(That “happen along” part of unschooling is misleading. It’s not that I’m leaving things to chance, nor am I deliberately bringing something in as a lesson. I direct a lot of things her way and just from experience know that from the wealth of things, there will be unexpected learning. Nothing I can plan though. She learned more than anyone would imagine from a few weeks watching Gilligan’s Island.

Writing is just talking on paper. You’re trying to see where someone mentally is relative to where you intend your words to take them and then you plan out a course to get them there. Talk to your son. Ask him to explain what he’s doing and ask questions to help him learn to order his thoughts and learn to see from the point of view of who he’s communicating with rather than from his own position. (But only ask if you’re interested. Kids have good radar for lessons masked as conversation

Unless someone has gotten the idea that writing is hard by being forced to write before they are ready or need to, or being forced to write in ways that aren’t natural to them, once they realize it’s just talking on paper, that little extra step is hardly any step at all. There’s additional skills they can learn, like how to organize their thoughts for something longer, but it’s not a skill that needs 12 years of practice. (A schooled friend of my daughter’s came over to play with my daughter and they decided to make books together. The schooled girl told her there were all these things you had to do: title page, a plan, and some other things. My daughter said “Oh,” and just made books. The schooled girl never did finish. Merely an anecdote that may mean nothing, but it is a piece of data.)

I think it only takes years to learn to write when people are forced to write things they don’t care about. Where does most writing practice end up? In the trash, right? Real writing should make a difference in people’s lives. Sure there’s project reports and documentation to write, but do we need to force kids to write boring stuff so they’ll be prepared to write boring stuff?

High school is when it’s more common for kids to feel the need to put words on paper. But, again, they need real reasons. Perhaps letters of complaint about a product, letters to the editor, a family newsletter, a pen pal, email, message boards, an article for the local paper, or one of the websites out there that kids can submit their writing to.

But many of these things can be “laying around” for him right now, suggested when it’s possible he’d be interested. And dropped when he’s not or carried as far as his interest carries him. As long as he sees writing as purposeful, then there won’t be anything other than natural barriers between him and putting words to paper.

**Studies I have read show that certain windows open for certain math concepts at specific times. There seems to be accumulating evidence for a certain scope and sequence for math too. I am talking primarily about getting skills so you can do higher level math.**

Joyce: The studies, of course, are based on kids whose basically only exposure to math is in school. Math to them is artificial, irrelevant to their own world. How many parents are helping their kids use the math that’s all around them? Math, to most kids (and adults!) is just the stuff in math books.

But, my daughter *is* being exposed to math right now, using it in ways that are meaningful to her. She’s using the skills she needs right now. I’m not sitting around waiting for her to pick up a math text.

So, yes, there probably is a window of opportunity for math knowledge. But there’s no way to miss it if a child’s curiosity is being fed and she is immersed in the language of math. There’s a window for learning to speak too, but the only way to miss that is by not speaking to the child. As long as we speak math to our kids, they’ll learn the parts they are developmentally ready for.

**What if she chooses no math? How do you handle that?**

Joyce: Obviously she hasn’t yet. It is possible she’ll decide to be a painter and won’t need math beyond consumer math and what’s relevant to the science of color. But she’ll have been exposed to fun stuff like Fibonacci numbers and probabilities and algebraic thought. But, honestly, how many people need algebra? Why torment a child with “what if” when it’s more likely to cause them to dislike the subject than to learn it?

**If I tell my wife that I want to try this unschooling approach starting tomorrow, then what we would do at 8 AM?**

Joyce: Sleep? Eat? Watch TV? Go outside and enjoy the sun shining through the trees? Read a book?

**Would my son choose when he gets up?**

Joyce: Unless he stops breathing, he’s always weighing his options and making choices. They may not be the choices you’d want him to make. But, what if you knew your wife had an agenda for you and there were “right” choices in her eyes and “wrong” choices and you knew she was weighing the choices you were making against her idea of “right” and “wrong” and judging the quality of your choices? How would that affect your relationship? I assume there are some things you each do to please the other, but they are *still* choices. The more pressure someone feels from the other to make the choices the other wants them to make, the more strain there is in the relationship.

**Would he choose what he wants to learn? Should we let him mess with the Star Wars games on the computer all day? I am going to go out on a limb and guess you would say that he would eventually get bored and look for something else to do or that I should keep offering interesting tidbits he couldn’t resist?**

Joyce: Yup. If he’s interested, he’s learning. It may be hard to see how what he’s learning relates to what is “important” in life. In fact, it may only be relevant to his life right now. But it is relevant. It’s nurturing the person he is now. I think we concentrate too much on moving kids along to what they should become and preparing them for that.

**What if he says he never wants to do writing ever?**

Joyce: Well, what if? There’s plenty of professions where people don’t need to write. But do you really think that if he loves something that he will choose something else just because he doesn’t want to write?

**We just wait him out until he thinks he needs it?**

Joyce: And why shouldn’t it be important that he write when he thinks he needs it? Why should it be more important that he write when you think he needs it? Wouldn’t that mean when all kids hit 12 months we should make them walk because that’s when kids need to walk, and we all know how important walking is so they should get started when we think it’s important? Unless there’s something physically wrong with them, or their environment discourages it, all kids do eventually learn to walk just because they feel the need to.

If someone made me write an essay on math and kids, it would be as short as possible to make them go away. But since I’m writing this “essay” to satisfy my own need to get all these thoughts in order, it’s as long as it needs to be for me.

**Is it my role to lecture the benefits of the things I have to offer, but to back off if he doesn’t want them?**

Joyce: Lecture? Ick. How important would you feel something was if your wife decided to lecture you about it’s importance? What would come across is her needing to make you feel the same way she does about something. And personally, when someone’s trying to make me feel some way about something, I tend to work up the opposite feelings.

**So sorry. I should have read the whole post more carefully. My wife preached to me about that. OK. That is what you would do. I have a hard time with that one. I don’t think you can play catch up in math and science all that fast. My opinion only.**

Joyce: But I do have the advantage of seeing the same math being learned naturally way easier than it’s being taught and learned in school. I have the advantage of reading other people’s kids’ experiences with unschooling math.

As for science, ah, I have a rant about that too The short version is, I think way too much emphasis is placed on memorizing the answers to questions kids haven’t asked and way too little time on fostering scientific thinking and fostering a wonder about how the universe works. Once kids are curious, they’ll want the facts. Once they want the facts, they go in so easily.

**I need to read a book about the day and the life of an unschooler in my spare time.**

Joyce: Actually a day in the life of an unschooler looks a lot like summer days and weekends for other people. Unschooling isn’t so much in what unschoolers do as in their attitude towards life and learning and how they’re intertwined. Our conversations are our lessons without being lessons. Everytime my daughter spontaneously asks a question or tells me about an observation, that’s a “test” that shows me unschooling is working. She may not be learning a set group of facts that others think are important and can test, but her questions and observations show she’s thinking about what she’s learning. For example, it’s not so important that she learn that sound waves bounce off things because that can go in as a factoid without any real meaning or understanding behind it, but it is important that she bounced a ball off a wall and said that was like a sound wave. She’s making connections.

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My nine year old daughter wants to be an astronaut and she’s passionate about astronomy and space. I’ve learned more about the solar system from her than I ever did in in all my years in school.

A few months ago, she and my husband (I call them the two space cadets  -lol) were watching Apollo 13 with Tom Hanks and there’s a scene where they were using math concepts to figure out how to bring the capsule back to Earth. Jacqueline asked Billy to pause the movie at a scene that showed the paper they were writing on so she could get a good look at it. She wanted to know what they were doing and what type of math that was.

This started an ongoing discussion about algebra and calculus and since then she’s been asking Billy to explain it to her. He told her that he would look around for a book because he needed to brush up on it himself before he could explain it to her.

That was a couple of months ago and because of other issues going on in our life, he hadn’t gotten around to buying the book yet.

Taking matters into her own hands, (my mother always said – when there’s a will, there’s a way) Jacqueline spotted an algebra text book in a used book store and bought it with her own money.

The other night she asked Billy to read her a bedtime story and when he walked into her room, there she was…all cozy in bed with Sally, the bear she created at Build-A-Bear. She handed Billy the book she had selected…yup, the algebra textbook. She also had a notebook so she could jot down notes.

I couldn’t resist a picture.

Have I mentioned how much I love unschooling recently?

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John Holt was a teacher when he wrote How Children Fail and How Children Learn. He eventually quit teaching and became a speaker and supporter of education reform and went on to write several more books. Deciding that schools could not be reformed, he focused his energies on alternatives to conventional schooling. He founded Growing Without Schooling, America’s first homeschooling magazine and continued writing until his death in 1985.

A Conversation with John Holt (1980)
Interviewer: Marlene Bumgarner

In 1980, Marlene Bumgarner, a homeschooling parent, hosted author John Holt in her home while he was in California for a lecture tour. While he played in the garden with her two children, John and Dona Ana, she interviewed him for the bimonthly magazine Mothering.

What is your philosophy of learning?
Basically that the human animal is a learning animal; we like to learn; we need to learn; we are good at it; we don’t need to be shown how or made to do it. made to do it. What kills the processes are the people interfering with it or trying to regulate it or control it.

Why homeschooling?
That’s a big question. The great advantage is intimacy, control of your time, flexibility of schedule, and the ability to respond to the needs of the child, and to the inclinations. If the child is feeling kind of tired or out of sorts, or a little bit sick, or kind of droopy in spirits, okay, we take it easy, and things go along very calmly and easily. When the child is full of energy and rambunctious, then we tackle big projects, we try tough stuff, we look at hard books. And I think schools could do much more than they do in this kind of flexibility, but in fact they don’t. I want to make it clear that I don’t see homeschooling as some kind of answer to badness of schools. I think that the home is the proper base for the exploration of the world which we call learning or education. Home would be the best base no matter how good the schools were. The proper relationship of the schools to home is the relationship of the library to home, or the skating rink to home. It is a supplementary resource.But the school is a kind of artificial institution, and the home is a very natural one. There are lots of societies without schools, but never any without homes. Home is the center of the circle from which you move out in all directions, so there is no conceivable improvement in schools that would change my mind about that.

What does one do at a homeschool?
That’s what Growing Without Schooling is about, of course. What one can do depends a lot on what one’s own life is. A lot of families have small businesses or subsistence farms or crafts, or various kinds of activities that the parents are involved in, which the children are also very involved in. The children just partake in the life of the adults wherever they are,and then questions are answered as they come up. Other people may live at home and work somewhere else; they may have a more conventional kind of existence.I don’t believe in formal fixed curriculums, but it may very well be that when parents and children start off, they’re both a little nervous. They’re both wondering what they should be doing. If it makes people feel happier to have a little schedule, and to work with a correspondence school for a year or so, kind of as a security blanket, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a starting place.My advice is always to let the interests and the inclinations of the children determine what happens and to give children access to as much of the parents’ lives and the world around them as possible, given your own circumstances, so that children have the widest possible range of things to look at and think about. See which things interest them most, and help them to go down that particular road.How that’s done depends very much on the family’s circumstances and their interests, and the particular interests of the children. Some kids are bookish, some children like to build things, some are more mathematical or computerish, or artistic, or musical, or whatever.The mix is never going to be exactly the same.

Does homeschooling require that the parents spend a great deal of structured time with their children in a formal learning situation?
Homeschooling doesn’t require that parents spend a great deal of structured time. I think as parents get into this they tend to spend less time. How much time they spend with their kids depends a little on the circumstances in their own lives. Sometimes they spend a lot of time in company together just because it’s fun. Other times that’s harder for them to do. The children, though they may enjoy a lot of their parents’ company during the day,don’t need it once they get past 7 or 8.

Is the parent without background in education or experience as a teacher at a disadvantage in a homeschooling situation?
I’d say they have a very great advantage. I wouldn’t say that a person was disqualified from doing it because they had had training in education, but I would have to say that practically everything they taught you at that school of education is just plain wrong. You have to unlearn it all. I never had any of that educational training. The most exclusive, selective, demanding private schools in this country do not hire people who have education degrees. If you look through their faculties – degrees in history, mathematics, English, French, whatever – you will not see degrees in education. I think for the most prestigious private schools you could almost set it down as a fact that to have a teacher’s certificate, to have had that kind of training, would disqualify you.

Are parents talented or knowledgeable enough to teach physics or math?
Oh, well, the children don’t have to learn physics or math from you. There are plenty of people to learn from; there are plenty of books; there are plenty of extension courses. GWS will have information on that. There are plenty of other people to answer your questions. And the children don’t have to get it all from Mom and Pop. There are people who have only high schooling, or may not even have finished that, who are now teaching their children at home and doing a very good job of it.

What about the child’s social life?
As for friends – you’re not going to lock your kids in the house. I think the socializing aspects of school are ten times as likely to be harmful as helpful. The human virtues – kindness, patience, generosity, etc. are learned by children in intimate relationships, maybe groups of two or three. By and large, human beings tend to behave worse in large groups, like you find in school. There they learn something quite different – popularity, conformity, bullying, teasing, things like that. They can make friends after school hours, during vacations, at the library, in church.

What about the opportunity for youths to meet members of other backgrounds, other socioeconomic classes?
Most of the schools that I know anything about are tracked – there would be a college track, and a business track, and a vocational track. Studies have shown over the years that these tracks correlate perfectly with economic class. I think I know enough about most high schools in this country to say there is very little mingling of people from different backgrounds, different religious groups. The rich kids hang out with the rich kids, the jocks hang out with the jocks, the pointy heads hang out with the pointy heads, the greasers hang out with the greasers. Maybe there are some exceptions to that but the idea of school as a social melting pot where people of all kinds of backgrounds get together – pure mythology, folks.

What is your philosophy about teaching reading?
I think the teaching of reading is mostly what prevents reading. Different children learn different ways. I think reading aloud is fun, but I would never read aloud to a kid so that the kid would learn to read. You read aloud because it’s fun and companionable. You hold a child, sitting next to you or on your lap, reading this story that you’re having fun with, and if it isn’t a cozy, happy, warm, friendly, loving experience, then you shouldn’t do it. It isn’t going to do any good.I think children are attracted toward the adult world. It’s nice to have children’s books, but far too many of them have too much in the way of pictures. When children see books, as they do in the family where the adults read, with pages and pages and pages of print, it becomes pretty clear that if you’re going to find out what’s in those books, you’re going to have to read from that print. I don’t think there’s any way to make reading interesting to children in a family in which it isn’t interesting to adults.

What your philosophy about math?
My approach to math is to say, What do we adults use numbers for? We use them to measure things. And we measure things so that having measured them we can do things with them, or make certain judgments about them. And so I say let children do with numbers what we do with numbers. I’m a great believer in many kinds of measuring instruments – tapes (centimeter tape, inch tapes, rolls of tapes), rulers, scales, thermometers, barometers, metronomes, electric metronomes with lights flashing on and off that you can make go faster and slower, stopwatches, things for time.Another thing is money. Kids are fascinated by money. We all say: “We’ll have to teach them all this arithmetic so that some day they can deal with money.” I think dealing with money is inherently interesting to children. I say family finances ought to be out on the table, charts on the wall: expenses, food, taxes, insurance, health care, how much this costs, how much it cost last year. I think actually, like typing, double-entry bookkeeping and basic accounting are fascinating skills, and if you’re talking about basics, those are basics.The fundamental idea of double-entry bookkeeping, the distinction between your income and expenses and assets and liabilities is one of the really beautiful inventions of the human mind. It’s fabulous the way it works, and I think families should do their finances as if they were a little teeny corporation with income and expenses and assets and liabilities and depreciation.Some kids might get to the point where they would want to be the family treasurer and keep the family books and balance the checkbook. This is all really “big adult stuff.” Let the child write out the checks that are paying the bills, instead of the harassed picture, you know, of father with his tie untied, sitting at the desk and papers all over the place. Why? This is inherently interesting, so let’s at least make this part of our life – like every other part – accessible to children. The best way to meet numbers is in real life, as everything else. It’s embedded in the context of reality, and what schooling does is to try to take everything out of the context of reality. So everything appears like some little thing floating around in space, and it’s a terrible mistake. You know, there are numbers in building; there are numbers in construction; there are numbers in business;there are numbers in photography; there are numbers in music; there are fractions incooking. So wherever numbers are in real life, then let’s go and meet them and work with them.

What subject matter do you see as essential?
None.

What about the parent who works outside of the home?
One question which often comes up is “How am I going to teach my kids six hours a day?” And I respond to that by saying, “Who’s teaching your kids six hours a day now?” I was a good student in supposedly the best schools and it was a rare day that I got five minutes of teaching… that’s five minutes of somebody’s serious attention to my personal needs, interests, concerns, difficulties, problems. Like most other kids in school, I learned that if you don’t understand what’s going on, for heaven’s sake, keep your mouth shut.

What happens when children become ill, or have an injury, etc.?
Home teachers come in for three to five hours a week. It has been found that this is perfectly sufficient. These children don’t fall behind. No child needs, or should stand, six hours of teaching a day, even if a parent were of a mind to give it. It would drive them up the wall!

How are homeschoolers evaluated when they go to enroll at the university level?
Just like anyone else. You know, there are these tests you can take… the College Boards, the SAT, and so forth. Actually, homeschoolers do exceptionally well on these things. They’re more motivated to learn what areas will be covered, and prepare for them.

Does it sometimes happen that a homeschooling student will express a desire to go to or return to traditional schooling? How do parents handle this?
Various ways. Sometimes parents have to decide (we’re the grownups) that we don’t want them to go back to that school, and then stick with it. But other times, if the children want to go, then that means they’re immune to the manipulation the schools can do with the children who don’t have a choice about whether they have to be there or not. The school loses some of its power when the children know they can quit if they want.

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As other children are waking up and heading toward the school bus on a Tuesday morning, Adele Schiessle asks her children if they want to spend the day playing on a 6,000-square-foot indoor inflatable play area.

Collin, 6, and Amber, 7, agree that would be a pleasant way to start the morning. After they play on the bouncy furniture, they head back to their home in St. John, where they spend the rest of the day watching TV, navigating XBox, working on art projects and playing games.

It is just another day in the Schiessle household, where the children learn through a branch of homeschooling called unschooling.

While the definition of unschooling varies, it generally reflects a concept of child-led learning.

For Carol Pozos’ oldest child, it meant self-taught reading at age 4.
For 18-year-old Abby Stewart of Chicago, it meant the recent news that she had won early admission to Princeton.

“It’s an awareness that learning is always happening because it’s part of living,” said Jane Van Stelle Haded of Hobart, who unschools her two children. “It’s almost trying to capitalize on whatever your children are interested in.”

Unschooled children don’t go to school, but unlike other homeschoolers they don’t necessarily learn through workbooks, educational guides or study sources. Instead, the children pursue what interests them. The unschooling concept has been around for decades, but it’s been slow to catch on, as initially most parents shy away from letting their children have such control over their own education.

“I’m trying to get rid of the idea that learning happens at a certain time in a certain place,” Van Stelle Haded said.

There aren’t any statistics on unschoolers yet, but the popularity of unschooling is reflected in the number of message boards on the Internet, in the abundance of unschooling clubs, in the frequency of unschooling conferences and in the slow but steady movement of unschooling into the vocabulary of educators.

Part of the increased attention on alternative education may be the rebellion against educational initiatives such as No Child Left Behind. It was one of the reasons Janna Odenthal of Chesterton embraced unschooling for her child. “The testing doesn’t do any good,” she said.
In a 2003 survey by the U.S. Department of Education, the number of children educated at home nationally was 1.1 million, an increase of 29 percent from the previous study in 1999.

Seth Odenthal, 10, has been unschooled since he was about 5.
“I went ahead and gave it a try, and I fell in love with the things we could do together, the flexibility in our schedule,” his mother said. When Seth took an early interest in cooking and baking, Odenthal embraced his curiosity, and the two of them cook together. She even signed him up for a local cooking class. Seth never formally learned math, but Odenthal said he excels at it because it’s a natural progression from his cooking interests.

Indiana doesn’t require the unschoolers to take standardized tests, and parents are allowed to give their unschooled children high school diplomas when the parents believe the children are ready to graduate.

Since education laws in Indiana are loose, parents of unschoolers can take different approaches to learning. But most tend to have a few common practices. Students don’t sit at desks to learn, as parents believe learning happens all the time. And while they aren’t taught how to read or write or do science, the children usually ask their parents enough questions that they eventually learn on their own.

“My oldest was reading on her own without being taught before she turned 5,” said Carol Pozos, who unschools her three children in her Michigan City home. “I did not do anything except read to her, and she soaked it up and was reading full sentences. I thought to myself, ‘Obviously, this works.’ ” Pozos, who has a degree in elementary education, enrolled one of her children in preschool because the child had been begging her to go to school since she was 3. But when her daughter refused to return to school halfway through the year, Pozos decided to try teaching her children herself. Her children are 8, 7 and 4, and other than a half-year of preschool, all three have been learning at home their entire lives. They also have chores they’re required to do every morning.

And once they finish their chores? “We do whatever we want,” said 8-year-old Isabel, who spent a recent afternoon on the floor of her living room flipping through a picture book with her 4-year-old brother. On Thursday mornings the children attend an art class filled with unschoolers and their parents. “Books are out, and if they want to draw they can draw,” Pozos said of the class. “If they don’t want to participate, they can go off in the corner and play.”

To prepare for the SAT college admission tests, 18-year-old unschooler Abby Stewart bought some test prep books and took some old subject matter tests. She posted an overall SAT score of 2,350 out of a possible 2,400.

Pozos said she’d be happy if her children went to college, as long as they are happy with their decision. “I’m not one of those people who says, ‘I want my son to be a doctor and my daughter to be an attorney.’ I just want them to be happy. If Armand wants to be a stay-at-home dad and Isabel wants to be a marine biologist, that’s just fine.”

**originally posted in 2007**

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I re-read a bit more of Guerrilla Learning by Grace Llewellyn this morning. (You can pick up a copy in our amazon store). She writes about what she considers to be the five “keys” of Guerilla Learning. The first one is opportunity and this is what she has to say.

“Read. Write. Talk. Play music. See dance and theater and paintings. Read poetry, write poetry, get poetry refrigerator magnets. Spend time in nature. Build things. Go to museums-and not as a “class trip”, but for the love of things you find there. If you’re not already doing these things, it’s only because you’ve arranged your life so you don’t have time and you’ve begun to believe that learning is something that happens not in life, but in school.”

I create lots of opportunities for my youngest daughter to explore her interest in space and astronomy. She borrows videos and books from the library. I find interesting web sites for her to browse. I buy space books (I buy good quality and up to date ones and older ones at thrift stores) that she reads over and over again. She and Billy made a planet mobile for her room. We’re planning a day trip to the Kennedy Space Center. She watches astronomy shows on TV.

I think that the other side of this is creating opportunities even when a specific interest is not there. I like to buy computer software and books on a very wide variety of topics and put them on the shelves or in a basket and let the kids know it’s there. One that I bought was software on the Civil War….which they were really interested in.

Later on in that chapter, Grace Llewellyn goes on to say;

“We want our kids to learn not what to think, but how to think. One way to increase your children’s chances of developing this skill is to give them real projects, (not academic exercises) where an outcome in the real world is intended and where the result, (not the assessment of an authority) is the ultimate judge of the projects success.”

And then towards the end of the chapter;

“At the heart of Opportunity is Engagement. Stay passionate, involved and interested in life and in learning. Your enthusiasm will transfer to your kids.”

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Some people understand unschooling as soon as they hear about it. Others wander about in a fog of confusion, wondering how unschoolers can be so certain about something that seems so counterintuitive to everything we’ve picked up about how kids need to learn. Maybe a few, well-defined steps in the unschooling direction could lead out of at least the very pea-soupiest part of the fog.

Step One: To unschool, you begin with your child’s interests. If she’s interested in birds, you read – or browse, toss aside, just look at the pictures in – books on birds, watch videos on birds, talk about birds, research and build (or buy) bird feeders and birdhouses, keep a journal on birds, record and ponder their behavior, search the web for items about birds, go to bird sanctuaries, draw birds, color a few pictures in the Dover Birds of Prey coloring book, play around with feathers, study Leonardo DaVinci’s drawings of flying machines that he based on birds, watch Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds.”

But DON’T go whole hog on this. Gauge how much to do and when by your child’s reactions. Let her say no thanks. Let her choose. Let her interest set the pace. If it takes years, let it take years. If it lasts an hour, let it last an hour.

Step Two: Second, you need to make sure your child has opportunities to expand her interests. Have books, videos, kits, games, puzzles, music tapes, puppets, nature collections, and other cool things available for her to pick up when she chooses. (Think library, yard sales, and attic treasures.) Take her places as a way to spark an interest. Wander about museums and just look at the cool stuff that interests either of you. (And resist the urge to force an interest in the things you think would be good for her.) Read a book or do a kit even if you’re certain it won’t lead anywhere. Let her say no thanks if she’s not interested in pursuing something right now, or in pursuing something to the degree you think she “should.”

Step Three: Get interested in things yourself. Not interested in your child getting educated, but in learning for yourself. Pursue an interest you’ve always wanted to but never had time for. Be curious about life around you. Look things up to satisfy your own curiosity. Or just ponder the wonder of it all. Ask questions you don’t know the answers to. “Why are there beautiful colors beneath the green in leaves?” “Why did they build the bridge here rather than over there?” “Why is there suddenly more traffic on my road than there used to be?” Let your child know that all the questions haven’t been answered yet and it’s not her job to just keep absorbing answers until she’s got them all.

Step Four:Start noticing the learning available all around you. There are fractions in time and cooking and in the relationships between objects. (There are one third as many blue M&M’s as there are brown.) Tax is a percentage of the total, some items offer 20% more free, and stores having a sale will knock a percentage off the regular price. There’s oodles of science in cooking. Why does heat make the white of an egg turn from clear liquid to solid white? What process turns liquid cake into poofy air-filled solid cake? Don’t worry if you don’t know the answers. Anyone can look up the answers. Few can ask the questions. As a real-life example, by watching Xena and reading Little Town on the Prairie, my daughter was exposed to three references to Julius Caesar, Brutus, and Marc Antony. She doesn’t “know” Roman history now, but she’s got a hook or point of reference to build from tomorrow, next week, three years from now: “You remember Julius Caesar. The guy Xena hates.” Unfortunately we learned in school that learning is locked up in books and reading is the only way to get to it. It’s not. It’s free. We’re surrounded by it. We just need to relearn how to recognize it in its wild state.

Step Five:
And, finally, forget the linear approach to learning we grew up with. For instance, we learned that the way to learn is to read “all the important” stuff about a subject gathered and packaged for our convenience in a textbook and then move on in line to the next package of information. Sure, sometimes an interest will cause kids to gather up a huge chunk of learning all at once. This is easy to see. And easy to overvalue as the “best” way to learn. More often kids will slowly gather interesting tidbits, making connections as things occur to them to create a foundation. They’ll add pieces here and there over the years to build on that foundation. This is not so easy to see going on. And very easy to undervalue. So, if we can train ourselves to see that process we can help it along by valuing the times when they see Thomas Jefferson on the Animaniacs and then later on the nickel and then still later on Mount Rushmore. Those moments will establish a feeling of recognition and familiarity. Then the more tidbits they gather about Jefferson, the more interesting he becomes. And the more interesting he becomes, the more they want to know about him.

It took at least two years and a lot of posts by very patient unschoolers (and a lot of questions by other newbies who were equally confused) for me to finally “get” unschooling. Hopefully, these five steps will make your transition to unschooling easier than mine was!

Link to original article

Joyfully Rejoycing

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It’s a word that can sometimes strike fear in the hearts of new unschooling parents.

Here are some more collected thoughts on unschooling math that I’ve had saved for a while. Most are from the old forums at unschooling.com

A reply from Joyce Fetteroll answering this post:

**what I’m curious about is whether or not there’s actually a curriculum out there that gives the abstract math concept then gives activities that ground the information.**

It’s not the way most kids learn. Most people go from the specific to the general. Like with English, kids learn how to turn a verb into past tense (turn to turned) just by encountering numerous examples of it. And it’s a lot easier to understand even what a verb is after you’ve heard thousands of them than if the concept is new.

(Though some kids — kids who get a lot out of phonics for example — do often like to know the rules so they can make sense of the examples. It’s a matter of learning style.)

Getting the abstract first is the way many adults learn. (Or maybe it’s the way adults are familiar with from school, so maybe it isn’t natural for most adults either.) Adults seem to want to know beforehand where something technical is going so they can organize it in their heads. But kids seem to care less where it’s headed as long as the journey is enjoyable.

The most unsatisfying thing about learning math naturally is that it takes only a small fraction of the time that it takes using schoolish methods. If we can learn to speak math, that is walk through problems out loud as you’re solving them in your head, then kids can get a feel for how numbers work as they got a feel for how English worked. Like talk through how you’re figuring out “How long until my birthday?” But do it in a way that’s useful to yourself, not as a lesson for him to understand. Just make that process that normally goes on invisibly available to him.

***and then in the same thread, a reply by Anne Ohman***

Those of us who were schooled math can develop an intimidation of it…we were labeled right from the start – good at reading, bad at math, or something like that. I was labeled good at science and math – and yet, while I was good at math, I had no idea how to apply it to the real world. Now you’ve labeled yourself and it’s a detriment to unschooling. Start all over again. We, as unschoolers, know that when you need or desire information, then you’re not *bad* at getting it. You just get it. So lose the label you created for yourself (or that school created for you) and KNOW and TRUST that you can handle ANY math that comes up in your life. Because it’s the truth.

Just start looking. Start seeing. Math. It’s everywhere. Use it. Talk it. Think it out loud. When you get gas, get back in the car and vocalize how much it was per gallon times how many gallons you got. When your kids weigh produce at the grocery store, talk about how much something is per pound and how much it weighs. When you cut a pizza into 8 pieces, talk about how many you each get. When you bake, double the recipe, or 1 1/2 X the recipe…and then, out loud, talk about the conversions you’re making to the ingredient list.

I love it when it’s in unexpected places. My children have no fear or intimidation of figuring out math problems because they have a reason to find an answer. They need or desire an answer in their real lives, so they GET that answer. When my son and I went shopping before Christmas, he was walking around the store, calculating the sales prices of numerous items just for the fun of it.

You don’t have to be quick. You just have to be aware. And you’ll need that awareness for unschooling anyway…so just start! Begin today to see the world through new eyes…focus on living joyfully, on following your heart and your passions…be curious and aware and ask questions. Unschooling is not just for your children…it’s for you, too.

Just remember not to *teach* any of these things. Just talk about them. If you’re turning them off, they won’t listen. If you’ve schooled math with them already, they might be turned off of it already. So it’s a process, finding the balance that brings it into your lives as a normal, natural, wonderful part of it…just like any learning is when you unschool.

Does he go grocery shopping with you? Does he weigh produce and figure out its cost, based on the price per pound? Does he comparative shop…prices/sizes/nutritional value? Does he have a bank account? Does he spend/save money he receives? Does he bake with you? Does he build anything? Does he play games? Does he figure out how many cinnamon rolls you each get for breakfast? Does he pump gas into your car, and do you discuss how many gallons you get for the amount of money you spent on the gas, and how much gas your car eats up for every mile you drive?

**Later on, someone posted these ideas**

Early math (counting, number recognition, basic adding and subtracting) happens by itself in a typical family environment: reading, playing board games, playing cards, using dice, sharing out carrot sticks, slicing pizza, and so on. Even seemingly unrelated activities (such as lego or blocks) can contribute to a child’s growing familiarity with the world of numbers and how they work.

Money is as excellent route to math competency:

- adding and subtracting,

- decimal places,

- counting by twos, fives, tens, twenty-fives,

- basic understanding of fractions (quarters, tenths, fifths, hundredths),

- estimating,

- percentages (20% off sales, 5% interest rates, 10% tips, 50% = half), and

- real-life earning, saving, spending, decision-making.

Ready to go beyond the basics? Try doubling a recipe with your child. Or building a ramp. Or fencing a garden. Or returning all the cans and bottles to the recycling depot and letting the kids split the money between themselves. Or guessing gas prices for a full tank. Or exchanging your money to another country’s currency. Or following a sewing pattern. Or rearranging the furniture, after mapping out the room’s options on graph paper. Or playing Monopoly, with your child as the banker. Or calculating how old your dog is in dog years. Or turning the family’s chequebook over to your child, to handle and balance for a few months (with supervision of course). Or opening a bank account. Or figuring out how many months old you are—or how many weeks, how many days, and so on. Or weighing and calculating purchases in the bulk food department. (Go on, live a little. Give your children $2 each to spend however they want in bulk candy. You’ll be amazed at their motivation and ingenuity—and their math skills!)

Books such as Eating Fractions, The Greatest Guessing Game: A Book About Dividing, and 2 x 2 = Boo! A Set of Spooky Multiplication Stories can add to a child’s math vocabulary—just check out the library’s children’s section on math.

Games of logic develop important math-related skills: Master Mind, chess, backgammon, kalah. I like to keep rulers, measuring tape, measuring cups, calculators, and a kitchen scale handy for impromptu problem-solving. And don’t forget good, old-fashioned conversation! Be willing to discuss ordinary family financial transactions: mortgage rates, car payments, rent increases, grocery budgets, retirement savings, and salaries. Your children will grow up knowing all they need to know about math in the real world, confident and well-equipped to explore, in more depth, any areas of math that interest them. Your options, and theirs, are endless!

**from another source**

Someone asks: My question is-what about math? My state requires that we cover algebra and geometry and I don’t know either topic. I can’t see him playing with algebra and geometry of his own free will.>>>

A member answers: Algebra is figuring out an unknown element in a problem. We do it allthe time. When our checkbook doesn’t balance by 52¢ there is an unknown element that is causing it to be off. That is algebra. Algebra is figuring out how many servings of brownies you will get if you have 5 batches. There is nothing mysterious about algebra. What makes algebra mysterious are textbooks trying to make people think in algebraic ways through a serious of ever increasing problems which make no sense to the majority of people who are having to do them in order to pass some class.

Geometry is the math of shapes. Most of it is totally irrelevant when dealing with real life. How often do *most* people have to figure out what the volume is of a cone? The only cone that most people deal with on a regular bases seems to be an ice cream cone and the only reason that one needs to worry about the volume is when it is full and you have a nice scoop on the top to start with. I would presume that

many of us took geometry in high school or college. How many of us remember how to figure out the volume of a cone? We deal with shapes, though, on an almost daily basis. Putting boxes on shelves, cans in cupboards, soup in bowls, cutting out art projects, drawing, doodling, decorating, moving furniture etc. We see volume in those same boxes and cans. When we cook we use geometry. Measurements, volume, placement of cookies on baking stones, having the right size pot for mac and cheese. Geometry is not a static activity. Geometry most makes sense when it is used in context.

Don’t force math on him. Instead find a way to translate what he is doing into the requirements of your state. It takes practice to see those things and put them down to satisfy requirements because we don’t think in terms of, “Oh, I’m doing algebra” or “I think I should use geometry to figure this problem out.”

***

I’m sharing these posts here for myself as much as anyone else. Looking at math from a different angle, has really helped me enjoy math and realise it’s not the scary monster that school makes it out to be.

Here are a bunch of math links that I have saved over the last year or so. I hope you find something you enjoy.

Related posts

• Why Whole Life Unschooling? (5)
• Unschooling Math (0)
• Unschooling Math (7)
• Ripley’s Believe It Or Not (Orlando) (1)
• Opportunites For Learning (3)

FREEDOM TO CHOOSE:
Fingers & toes A pattern blocks, two by two, 4X4, narrow gauge, ruler, tape measure #scale, model, profit (loss), earn, spend $ save, interest, checkbook, recipe, batting average, Captain May I? soccer, baseball, basketball, love § fault, birdie, strike, spare, first and ten, penalty box w map, compass, Pokémon, Candyland, Monopoly, Go, Chess v Sorry!, dominoes, dice, poker chips, Bridge, Crazy Eights, Go Fish, graphs, charts, Origami, mileage, knit 1 purl 2, weave, weigh ¶ motor, engine, pulley, ratio, odds, chances, statistics P average, more or less, even, odd, yards, N scale, circumference, volume, area, score, speed limit, braking distance, fourth dimension ( sixth sense, Indy 500, build, plan, rate ¥ estimate, predict, revise, garden, yardage, height, depth, angle, trade, straight, curve, spiral, high tide, low ball, tempo % quarter note, half pound, temperature, weather forecast, bargain, budget, price, half off, plus tax, sequence, seven percent solution N hundred percent markup, latitude, longitude y light years, escape velocity, precession of the equinoxes (oh Best Beloved) * range, set, stitch, sort, size, tally, calculator, plot, dozen % gain, lose, exactly, approximately, income, borrow, allowance, loan, design, diagram, knots, beads, gear ratio, minutes, degrees # timer, computer, fathoms, grid ø meters, Anno, The Number Devil, half pipe, quarter turn, double time, full bore, safe speed – turning radius, blocks, stacking, nesting, measure up @ scale down, abacus, credit, debit, limit, infinity, first class, third rate, equal share, short shrift, waxing, waning u phase, rhythm, balance, cycle, magnitude, perspective, value, graph, apogee, perigee, frequency, rotation, revolution 8 dollars, cents, pennies, wooden nickels, full deck, full house, double helix £ time zone, millennium, program ø binary, generation, epoch, era, nano second, code, puzzle, calendar, fiscal year, progression, midpoint, watts, lumens * horsepower, ohms, Great Circle Route, 52 Pickup, ‘55 Chevy, Hundredth Monkey, altitude, make change, Lego, shopping, Tangrams & Battleships, Fibonacci series, checkers, speed, height, width, length, volume, latitude, sphere, output, displacement, schedule ] time limit, collection, add up, count down . age, four score, last full measure, census, Are we there yet? dance, a bushel and a peck, postage, efficient operation, elegant solution, gigabytes, google, Powers of Ten Q increase <>

More About Unschooling Math

Related posts

• Why Whole Life Unschooling? (5)
• Unschooling Math (1)
• Unschooling Math (7)
• Ripley’s Believe It Or Not (Orlando) (1)
• Opportunites For Learning (3)