Originally written in 2006 – updated in 2011 

Ron & Andrea over at atypicalhomeschool.net are asking unschoolers to answer these questions for the next Carnival of Unschooling. (A carnival is a collection of related blog posts).

Update 2011: The Carnival of Unschooling moved to this blog after a while and was called Unschooling Voices. The carnival has retired but you can read the archives on this site. 

1. Unschooling feels, sounds or appears like a good philosophy to follow, but ________ prevent me (or make me hesitant to) follow through with it.

2. Unschooling my child(ren) has enabled me to see ________

I guess the first question would be directed to those who are just starting out their unschooling journey, still thinking about it or have extreme circumstances where unschooling would not work.

Here’s my answer to question #2.

Unschooling my children is enabling me to see that learning is everywhere. The more they are out of school, the more I see the curiosity and spark in their eyes.

Unschooling my children is enabling me to see that learning is fun and enjoyable. Learning is not filling in a bubble on a test. Learning is not being told to memorize a bunch of facts that they could very easily find, in a matter of minutes, online or in a book.

Unschooling my children is enabling me to see that their interests and passions are valid and important.

Unschooling my children is enabling me to see them…for all they are and all they can become.

Unschooling my children his enabling me to see that life really is for living and exploring and singing and creating and discovering and trying and doing and being.

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It’s not enough to leave a child to fend for themselves when it comes to discovering new interests and the world around them. Unschooling parents should look for opportunities to expose their children to to a variety of people, new ideas, the community outside your immediate one and activities that don’t normally come up in your daily life.

If your family life is rich and full, there will be things to do, places to go, projects to tackle, interesting things to discuss. Don’t watch and wait for signs of an interest. Go out and bring them to your child…..to your family.

And when they find interests, support them! Get interested yourself, at least enough to understand what they’re doing so they can discuss it with you.

This is not about money either. Go to the library, free concerts, museums that have free admission, activities in your local parks….there’s tons of stuff if you look for it and are open to new things.

Unschooling is anything by passive and direction-less.

It’s about lighting a fire.

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If that sounds like you and your family, an unschooling conference might be just what you need and this is the season for it. There are several in the upcoming months. Some are big gatherings with a full schedule of speakers, panels, funshops, and more; others are smaller, casual and more free-flowing. Sometimes, there’s a talent show, and maybe a dance or concert. Reading at conference websites can help you to learn a bit about the personality of each one and how it might fit your family’s interests and style. Often, too, there are yahoo groups or facebooks pages for a conference, which can give you an opportunity to ask questions of people who have attended that conference.

We had a lot of fun at the two conferences we’ve attended. There was a funshop where the boys built rainmakers (cardboard tubes with beans inside to make a sound like falling rain) which I still find around the house every so often. I attended a funshop where we learned to paint with henna. I shopped handmade crafts from kids at the entrepreneurial tables. I listened to several talks from unschooling Moms, heard from a panel of Dads sharing their take on unschooling, participated in a round-table discussion about peaceful parenting, and heard a panel of teenagers answer questions about what unschooling means to them. In addition to the scheduled activities there were spontaneous conversations, happy reunions, hugs, laughter, and happy children everywhere it seemed. The talent shows are always fun; everything from simple jokes told by kids to some amazing singing or dancing performances.

We have plans to attend a conference later this year. Now that our boys are older (10 & 15 by then) they’re anticipating spending their days either in the gaming room or swimming, and are looking forward to making new friends they can keep up with online, as well as seeing old friends who live in other parts of the country. I’m looking forward to catching up with friends I talk to online regularly but haven’t seen in person in some time.

Here’s a quick listing of some unschooling conferences. With each, I’ve included the opening paragraph from the conference website, and an online address for more info.

Unschoolers’ Waterpark Gathering:
Our UWG gatherings are for unschooling families around the country to simply have fun, relax and share time with other unschoolers – ie. families homeschooling in a non-traditional, child-led, interest based, life learning approach. Those new or looking into unschooling are welcomed to come with the understanding they have researched unschooling, come with an open mind and are respectful to those at various stages of unschooling. More info at http://ugoevent.com

LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference:
The LIFE is Good Conference invites you to join us and experience an unschooling community first hand. You’ll have an opportunity to make new friends, deepen existing friendships, form connections and find the piece that just may be missing from your unschooling journey– a strong, supportive and vibrant group of families to share it with. More info at http://lifeisgoodconference.com

Northeast Unschooling Conference:
It’s hard to explain what the Northeast Unschooling Conference is like. There’s joy and there’s chaos, laughter and tears, lots of silliness, hugs all over the place, play, learning, fun, and struggle. There are wise speakers and explorers all over the place. There are fun things to do. There are unschooled teens and young adults who will take your breath away. More info at http://www.northeastunschoolingconference.com

Rethinking Everything, :
- your freedom to set the course for your own life
- supporting you in creating a freedom-based life for your children & teens
- gentle & profoundly respectful parenting
- unschooling & self design
- eliminating psychological roadblocks to self-empowerment
- real history & experiential learning
- entrepreneuring
- strategies for vibrant, alive wellness
- spiritual oneness & the law of attraction
- enlightened aging & empowered dying
More info at http://www.rethinkingeverything.net

Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference:
For four full days, we’ll inspire, discuss, play and spread lots of bubbly energy as only unschoolers can. As an inclusive conference children will be embraced and welcomed at every event. Friendships will be created or deepened. Questions will be answered In Real Life. Families will be strengthened. You will feel renewed. This is an opportunity to enrich your unschooling journey: get new ideas, stretch your mind, enjoy your family and friends. Leave invigorated and whole and maybe a little sandy! More info at http://goodvibrationsconference.com

Toronto Unschooling Conference:
At the Toronto Unschooling Conference I strive to create a rich and stimulating environment where you can learn about unschooling in depth. Since it’s inception in 2006, TUC has brought together wonderful unschooling families to enjoy a fantastic weekend each year. All the speakers are unschoolers. The talks are followed by group discussions, where everyone is free to share and question. The combination of talk followed by discussion creates a terrific learning environment for the participants. The talks engage and challenge them with unschooling ideas, churning up thoughts and questions which are then addressed and expanded upon in the open discussion. Whether your family is considering a move to unschooling, has begun this amazing journey and is discovering just how all-encompassing it can be, or has years of experience, you will learn something new, understand an idea more deeply, and come away more inspired to live the unschooling lifestyle with your family each day. More info at http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/conference

ARGH
Secular in nature, ARGH (Autodidactic Radical Gathering of Homeschoolers) is a gathering by and for unschoolers of all ages which takes place in beautiful Roan Mountain, TN. This organic event relies on the participants to create the activities, making every event completely unique. Connecting with others interested in unschooling and the whole-wide-world helps build community, enrich our learning experiences, develops new friendships and encourages a lot of FUN! More info at https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=219190288092562

Life Rocks Unschooling Conference
We are on the cusp of change. Children are finally being recognized as the whole, perfect people that they are. Tides are turning, and a new chapter in humanity is beginning.
This is a very exciting time to be alive! Join us and be part of the Revolution!
More info at http://www.liferocksconference.com/#1

Always Learning Live Unschoolers Symposium
Sandra Dodd is hosting this gathering. Time to wind down slowly, and clarify, to laugh and to smile is missing from big conferences. Here, those things are scheduled. After many years of attending and presenting at conferences, I’ve heard many times that someone came just to hear me, or just to hear the unschooling speakers. At least half the time, too, the room I’m assigned is busy until just before time, and we have to get out quickly, or parents have to leave to get their children. We will have two three adjoining rooms—one for toys and play, one for gaming tables and games, and one for the presentations and meetings. Down the hall is one more smaller room that can be used for noisier games, perhaps. More info at http://alwayslearninglive.blogspot.com/

Australian Unschooling Conference
Who is this retreat for?
Attachment parents who are interested in extending this philosophy into the older years
Families with children in school who are looking at other options of education
Homeschooling and Steiner/Waldorf families who would like to explore natural learning/unschooling/ whole life unschooling
Unschoolers wishing to extend this philosophy to other areas of their life
Any style of homeschoolers/families considering homeschooling who wish to network and hang out with other like-minded families
Everyone who attended the 2010 Unschooling Conference
More info at http://www.unschoolingretreat.com/

Unschool Adventures
Unschool Adventures designs and leads multi-week international adventures and domestic leadership programs for teenage unschoolers. Our international adventures are lightly structured and exploratory, while our leadership programs are more structured and build specific skill sets. All of our trips share the mission of fostering independence and self-knowledge in self-directed teens.
More info at http://www.unschooladventures.com/

Unschoolers’ Camps
In addition to unschoolers’ conferences there are also summer camps for unschoolers. Not Back To School Camp has two sessions each in Oregon and in Vermont. East Tennessee Unschooled Summer Camp will be held this Aug 14-21 in Buffalo Mountain, Tenn. If your child is interested in a camp experience, you might want to explore these opportunities.

Not Back to School Camp:
The NBTSC aspires to create a sanctuary that affirms, inspires, and mentors unschoolers…where campers and staff transform spiritually, emotionally, physically, creatively, intellectually…where profound friendships begin and grow…and where adventure, mystery, music, wild spontaneous fun, and magic prevail. More info at http://www.nbtsc.org/home.htm

East Tennessee Unschooled Summer Camp:
ETUSC is a 7 night summer camp for approximately 80 unschoolers ages 13-18. There will be many activities, camper run workshops, jam sessions, bonfires, swimming, kayaking, zipline and climbing tower, mentoring, dancing, and much more. More info at http://www.etusc.com

2011 Schedule
Unschoolers’ Waterpark Gathering. May 16-20, 2011. Sandusky, Ohio.
LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference. May 26-29, 2011. Vancouver, Washington.
Northeast Unschooling Conference. August 25-28, 2011. Wakefield, Massachusetts.
Rethinking Everything. September 2-5, 2011. Dallas, Texas
Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference. September 8-11, 2011. San Diego, California
Toronto Unschooling Conference, Friday, September 9-11, 2011, Ecology Retreat Centre, Ontario
East Tennessee Unschooled Summer Camp. Aug 14-21, 2011. Buffalo Mountain, Tenn.
ARGH, Oct 30 – Nov 2, Roan Mt, TN This gathering is held twice a year, with another date in April 2012.
NBTSC. August 12-19 Camp Latgawa, Eagle Point, Oregon – August 23-September 6
Camp Myrtlewood, Bridge, Oregon – September 19-26 or September 30-October 7
Farm and Wilderness Tamarack Farm Camp, Plymouth, Vermont
Always Learning Live Unschoolers Symposium. Dec 28-Jan 1 – Albuquerque, NM
Australian Unschooling Conference 2011, Friday, Oct 28th – Tuesday, Nov 1st 2011 in Queensland, Australia

Written by Sylvia Toyama

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We bought a really fun book that my eight year old found during one of our (many) visits to the library book store (my favorite place to buy and donate pre-loved books) called The Ultimate Book of Kids Concoctions.

The first thing she wanted to make was tattoo paint (page 23).
Here’s how to do it:

1 TBS Cold Cream
2 TBS Cornstarch
1 TBS Water
Food Coloring

Mix cold cream and cornstarch together in a small bowl. Stir in water and mix until smooth.
Divide into 3-4 small bowls.
Mix 3-4 drops of food coloring into each.
Apply with a small brush.
Remove with soap and water

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For those who’ve never heard of deschooling, it’s the process one goes through after leaving an institutionalized schooling environment. Your child has probably their natural desire to learn squashed and will need time to recover from that. With a parent’s help, they can gain back most, if not all of what they lost and begin to see the world as a place where learning is enjoyable and all around us.

So, what can the parent do to help? We have to work on changing our own preconceived notions about education, learning and school. I hear about many parents taking their kids out of school, recreating the same forced learning environment at home, only to have it come to a crashing halt with the mom feeling like a failure and the kids being miserable. Maybe, if they would have given themselves, and their children, some time to deschool, it would have turned out different for all of them.

My husband Billy & I started reading John Taylor Gatto even before removing our children from school. That was the start of my deschooling. I started to become aware of my thoughts on public school, real learning and education. And I started to question those thoughts. Thoughts that I had always accepted, without question because “that’s the way it’s always been done.”

I had been a “good” student (except in high school when all hell broke loose), meaning I did what I was told and made good grades. I wasn’t picked on, I had friends and got along with the teachers. But it was the thoughts about real life and real learning that I got from school that did the most damage.

I remember having to take a cooking class in junior high school. I hated it and got a very low grade on my report card. There it was, in black & white…I failed at cooking. Surprise, surprise…today, I hate cooking and have no confidence in my ability to cook something edible. (Although this serves me well because Billy does 99% of the cooking-lol). Someone, who never met me, decided it was time for me to learn to cook, and because I wasn’t interested at that time and found it boring, I was labeled “poor” in cooking. I never gave it any thought until I started deschooling. It wasn’t like it crushed me when I got my report card. Rather it confirmed that the reason I must have found the class boring was because I wasn’t good at it.

I began questioning why we, as parents, allow the school system to continue having control over our children when the school day ends. I’ve had teachers give me weekly lists of things for my children to do at home. I’ve heard many parents tell their kids “You can’t go out (or play) until you do your homework”. Suppose I want to do something with my family and homework is interfering with that? Why are they telling my children what to do when they’re in their own home?

I questioned why we’re expected to live by school policy at home. There had been many times when my children come home, the day before the standardized tests, and let me know that the teacher told the class to tell their parents that they need to eat a good breakfast the next morning. And then hand me a list of what exactly the school’s version of a good breakfast consists of. Why does the school system think they can dictate what parents and children do at home? Because we let them do it. Yes, WE LET THEM.

Once these thoughts started swirling around in my mind, there was no going back to my old way of thinking. I also started to become aware of other people’s thoughts about learning and education. Soon after I removed my kids from school, we ran into a friend and her son. It was close to the end of the school year and the mother asked if we “take a break for the summer”. I explained that we learn all the time and that learning is all around us. I went on to say that it would be like taking a break from breathing. As they walked away I heard her say to her son , “See, they have to do school work every single day, even in summer!”.

*sigh*

I recall a parent, of a schooled child, asking me how my kids do P.E. being they’re not in school. Who in their right mind would depend on the public school system for physical activity? It’s as if physical activity is only a subject, to be taken just at times that the school dictates. Ridiculous!

I also did a lot of reading during that first year of deschooling. My two main sources were the message board at unschooling.com which are now closed and Sandra Dodd‘s site. I read almost everything on both sites and I could feel my thoughts and perspective changing as I read more and more.

Although that was back in 2004, I feel like my deschooling is a work in progress. I’ve learned so much about myself that it became more of a spiritual awakening than anything related to school. School-speak seems like a foreign language to me now. I see what REAL learning is everyday with my children.

It looks nothing like school.

*originally written in 2004: updated in 2008*

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