Instead of putting our focus on whether or not the kids are watching too much tv, we can put our focus on supporting their interests and offering them lots and lots of possible experiences. If their interests include tv-watching, then far from restricting them, instead, I supported that interest.

I did that by enthusiastically watching with them, playing tv-show base games online or as videogames, getting tv-based hands-on games and toys and puzzles, noticing when there might be a “special” on tv they’d want to watch, noticing which shows they really liked and finding all kinds of tie-ins (use Google to look for all kinds of things related to their favorite tv shows), bring up things happening in their favorite shows when you’re having conversations about other things, dress up like the tv show characters for Halloween or just for fun anytime, get books and coloring books and activity books that are related, BUYING whole seasons of their favorite shows, getting cd’s of the music from their shows, getting books based on the shows or on which the shows are based, AND finding creative ways of extending some of the inevitable connections that every show brings up.

Maybe sometimes people really just can’t imagine how to respond to tv in a way more consistent with showing the deep underlying trust in our children on which unschooling is based.

For those restricting tv, maybe just try this as an experiment. Next time you have the urge to make them turn it off, instead, look for a way to support their interest and enrich their lives. A simple and obvious way is to go cuddle up with them and enjoy watching together. Ask questions, get involved. Maybe join them with a cup of cocoa and some cookies. Or get online and look for connections to offer. Choose your time – don’t interrupt, but in between shows you can say, “Oh, look, I found these Sponge Bob coloring pages for you and I brought you some crayons, if you’re interested.” And, talk about the show, “Did you know that the guy who made up SpongeBob is a real marine biologist?” Or, “I wonder why he didn’t make SpongeBob look more like a real sea sponge? I mean, he looks like a kitchen sponge.” (You can buy a piece of sea sponge at a craft store or in paint dept of Home Depot – get some and have fun sponge painting with it.)

Decide to take that moment to SHOW you honor and support their choices. I wish I could get across to parents of younger children how VERY wonderful it will be for you when your kids are teens if you have created that atmosphere of real trust. Don’t you want to end up with teens who live up to that confidence you’ve shown in them? You undermine it every time you show your lack of trust – every time you arbitrarily restrict tv you are telling them, “I don’t trust you to know what’s good for you.”

Instead, start from the beginning saying, “I trust your choices and will support them.” This is not trivial; this is building the relationship you will have in a few years and during a time of life when most parents lose that closeness and honesty and confidence in their own teens. If you restrict tv now, will you try to restrict them from the things they want when they are teens, too? It won’t work and everyone knows it, but parents don’t know what else to do. They act like they can control their teenagers, but that is so obviously not true, teens whose parents are restrictive will often put themselves in much more risky situations than otherwise. Start trusting them now if that is the relationship you hope to have when they are teens. You can’t just manufacture it later, it is built on years of showing trust and confidence and support of their interests.

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If that sounds like you and your family, an unschooling conference might be just what you need and this is the season for it. There are several in the upcoming months. Some are big gatherings with a full schedule of speakers, panels, funshops, and more; others are smaller, casual and more free-flowing. Sometimes, there’s a talent show, and maybe a dance or concert. Reading at conference websites can help you to learn a bit about the personality of each one and how it might fit your family’s interests and style. Often, too, there are yahoo groups or facebooks pages for a conference, which can give you an opportunity to ask questions of people who have attended that conference.

We had a lot of fun at the two conferences we’ve attended. There was a funshop where the boys built rainmakers (cardboard tubes with beans inside to make a sound like falling rain) which I still find around the house every so often. I attended a funshop where we learned to paint with henna. I shopped handmade crafts from kids at the entrepreneurial tables. I listened to several talks from unschooling Moms, heard from a panel of Dads sharing their take on unschooling, participated in a round-table discussion about peaceful parenting, and heard a panel of teenagers answer questions about what unschooling means to them. In addition to the scheduled activities there were spontaneous conversations, happy reunions, hugs, laughter, and happy children everywhere it seemed. The talent shows are always fun; everything from simple jokes told by kids to some amazing singing or dancing performances.

We have plans to attend a conference later this year. Now that our boys are older (10 & 15 by then) they’re anticipating spending their days either in the gaming room or swimming, and are looking forward to making new friends they can keep up with online, as well as seeing old friends who live in other parts of the country. I’m looking forward to catching up with friends I talk to online regularly but haven’t seen in person in some time.

Here’s a quick listing of some unschooling conferences. With each, I’ve included the opening paragraph from the conference website, and an online address for more info.

Unschoolers’ Waterpark Gathering:
Our UWG gatherings are for unschooling families around the country to simply have fun, relax and share time with other unschoolers – ie. families homeschooling in a non-traditional, child-led, interest based, life learning approach. Those new or looking into unschooling are welcomed to come with the understanding they have researched unschooling, come with an open mind and are respectful to those at various stages of unschooling. More info at http://ugoevent.com

LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference:
The LIFE is Good Conference invites you to join us and experience an unschooling community first hand. You’ll have an opportunity to make new friends, deepen existing friendships, form connections and find the piece that just may be missing from your unschooling journey– a strong, supportive and vibrant group of families to share it with. More info at http://lifeisgoodconference.com

Northeast Unschooling Conference:
It’s hard to explain what the Northeast Unschooling Conference is like. There’s joy and there’s chaos, laughter and tears, lots of silliness, hugs all over the place, play, learning, fun, and struggle. There are wise speakers and explorers all over the place. There are fun things to do. There are unschooled teens and young adults who will take your breath away. More info at http://www.northeastunschoolingconference.com

Rethinking Everything, :
- your freedom to set the course for your own life
- supporting you in creating a freedom-based life for your children & teens
- gentle & profoundly respectful parenting
- unschooling & self design
- eliminating psychological roadblocks to self-empowerment
- real history & experiential learning
- entrepreneuring
- strategies for vibrant, alive wellness
- spiritual oneness & the law of attraction
- enlightened aging & empowered dying
More info at http://www.rethinkingeverything.net

Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference:
For four full days, we’ll inspire, discuss, play and spread lots of bubbly energy as only unschoolers can. As an inclusive conference children will be embraced and welcomed at every event. Friendships will be created or deepened. Questions will be answered In Real Life. Families will be strengthened. You will feel renewed. This is an opportunity to enrich your unschooling journey: get new ideas, stretch your mind, enjoy your family and friends. Leave invigorated and whole and maybe a little sandy! More info at http://goodvibrationsconference.com

Toronto Unschooling Conference:
At the Toronto Unschooling Conference I strive to create a rich and stimulating environment where you can learn about unschooling in depth. Since it’s inception in 2006, TUC has brought together wonderful unschooling families to enjoy a fantastic weekend each year. All the speakers are unschoolers. The talks are followed by group discussions, where everyone is free to share and question. The combination of talk followed by discussion creates a terrific learning environment for the participants. The talks engage and challenge them with unschooling ideas, churning up thoughts and questions which are then addressed and expanded upon in the open discussion. Whether your family is considering a move to unschooling, has begun this amazing journey and is discovering just how all-encompassing it can be, or has years of experience, you will learn something new, understand an idea more deeply, and come away more inspired to live the unschooling lifestyle with your family each day. More info at http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/conference

ARGH
Secular in nature, ARGH (Autodidactic Radical Gathering of Homeschoolers) is a gathering by and for unschoolers of all ages which takes place in beautiful Roan Mountain, TN. This organic event relies on the participants to create the activities, making every event completely unique. Connecting with others interested in unschooling and the whole-wide-world helps build community, enrich our learning experiences, develops new friendships and encourages a lot of FUN! More info at https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=219190288092562

Life Rocks Unschooling Conference
We are on the cusp of change. Children are finally being recognized as the whole, perfect people that they are. Tides are turning, and a new chapter in humanity is beginning.
This is a very exciting time to be alive! Join us and be part of the Revolution!
More info at http://www.liferocksconference.com/#1

Always Learning Live Unschoolers Symposium
Sandra Dodd is hosting this gathering. Time to wind down slowly, and clarify, to laugh and to smile is missing from big conferences. Here, those things are scheduled. After many years of attending and presenting at conferences, I’ve heard many times that someone came just to hear me, or just to hear the unschooling speakers. At least half the time, too, the room I’m assigned is busy until just before time, and we have to get out quickly, or parents have to leave to get their children. We will have two three adjoining rooms—one for toys and play, one for gaming tables and games, and one for the presentations and meetings. Down the hall is one more smaller room that can be used for noisier games, perhaps. More info at http://alwayslearninglive.blogspot.com/

Australian Unschooling Conference
Who is this retreat for?
Attachment parents who are interested in extending this philosophy into the older years
Families with children in school who are looking at other options of education
Homeschooling and Steiner/Waldorf families who would like to explore natural learning/unschooling/ whole life unschooling
Unschoolers wishing to extend this philosophy to other areas of their life
Any style of homeschoolers/families considering homeschooling who wish to network and hang out with other like-minded families
Everyone who attended the 2010 Unschooling Conference
More info at http://www.unschoolingretreat.com/

Unschool Adventures
Unschool Adventures designs and leads multi-week international adventures and domestic leadership programs for teenage unschoolers. Our international adventures are lightly structured and exploratory, while our leadership programs are more structured and build specific skill sets. All of our trips share the mission of fostering independence and self-knowledge in self-directed teens.
More info at http://www.unschooladventures.com/

Unschoolers’ Camps
In addition to unschoolers’ conferences there are also summer camps for unschoolers. Not Back To School Camp has two sessions each in Oregon and in Vermont. East Tennessee Unschooled Summer Camp will be held this Aug 14-21 in Buffalo Mountain, Tenn. If your child is interested in a camp experience, you might want to explore these opportunities.

Not Back to School Camp:
The NBTSC aspires to create a sanctuary that affirms, inspires, and mentors unschoolers…where campers and staff transform spiritually, emotionally, physically, creatively, intellectually…where profound friendships begin and grow…and where adventure, mystery, music, wild spontaneous fun, and magic prevail. More info at http://www.nbtsc.org/home.htm

East Tennessee Unschooled Summer Camp:
ETUSC is a 7 night summer camp for approximately 80 unschoolers ages 13-18. There will be many activities, camper run workshops, jam sessions, bonfires, swimming, kayaking, zipline and climbing tower, mentoring, dancing, and much more. More info at http://www.etusc.com

2011 Schedule
Unschoolers’ Waterpark Gathering. May 16-20, 2011. Sandusky, Ohio.
LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference. May 26-29, 2011. Vancouver, Washington.
Northeast Unschooling Conference. August 25-28, 2011. Wakefield, Massachusetts.
Rethinking Everything. September 2-5, 2011. Dallas, Texas
Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference. September 8-11, 2011. San Diego, California
Toronto Unschooling Conference, Friday, September 9-11, 2011, Ecology Retreat Centre, Ontario
East Tennessee Unschooled Summer Camp. Aug 14-21, 2011. Buffalo Mountain, Tenn.
ARGH, Oct 30 – Nov 2, Roan Mt, TN This gathering is held twice a year, with another date in April 2012.
NBTSC. August 12-19 Camp Latgawa, Eagle Point, Oregon – August 23-September 6
Camp Myrtlewood, Bridge, Oregon – September 19-26 or September 30-October 7
Farm and Wilderness Tamarack Farm Camp, Plymouth, Vermont
Always Learning Live Unschoolers Symposium. Dec 28-Jan 1 – Albuquerque, NM
Australian Unschooling Conference 2011, Friday, Oct 28th – Tuesday, Nov 1st 2011 in Queensland, Australia

Written by Sylvia Toyama

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“What things have you found yourself explaining to others that unschooling is NOT? What commonly accepted notions does unschooling preclude or expose as nonsense?”

Here are some of the many answers that were posted;

It’s not school.
It’s not school-at-home.
It’s not “unit studies” because it’s not “studies.”
It’s not child neglect.
It’s not child-led curriculum.

It’s not “project-based” learning.
It’s not a method of schooling
It’s not leaving the child to figure out everything on their own.
It’s not required math and reading and “unschooling” everything else.

It’s not a cult.
It’s not a fad.
It’s not hiding your kids from the real world.
It’s not something you *do* Monday-Friday.
It’s not something you take a break from during the summer.
It’s not about curriculum or child-led learning, or unit studies, or expectations.

It’s not about changing my children, it’s about changing me.
It’s not about controlling.
It’s not about expectations.
It’s not living someone else’s idea of life.
It’s not traveling a previosly trodden path.

It’s not conforming to the ways and why’s of what everyone else is doing, how they are living.
It’s living an authentic life according to your own unique Spirit.
It’s not for everybody – meaning those that can’t understand it.
It’s not ‘easy’.
It’s not parents sheltering or controlling kids

It’s not denying children normal experiences
It’s not making learning happen.
It’s not school, but it’s learning.
It’s not easy, but it’s fun.
It’s not about “deciding what’s best” for our kids, but pursuing the best of life *with* our kids.

It’s not designing your children’s life based on your own ideal.
It’s not living by someone else’s standards, values and timetables.
Unschooling is not a twelve-year program that I have completed. It is a way of life. I didn’t merely do unschooling; I was and am an unschooler.
It’s not “making learning fun!”
It isn’t turning every event into a “lesson” – sometimes mud pies are just mud pies.
Unschooling isn’t failing my children.

Note: The conversation also included what unschooling IS and other members sharing their thoughts:

To me unschooling is the FREEDOM to live at PEACE, JOYfully, because you know, “Everything counts.” I love being able to bless my children with that knowledge, by confirming the value of their feelings, their thoughts, their accomplishments… their value of just being.

Unschooling is a child not having to choose to become something or someone . . . he/she already is exactly who they are. In order to do this, the adults in his/her life have to live consciously in order not to make that child feel they are “supposed to” live up to something or “be” a certain way or “do” a certain thing in order to be “acceptable”. It is exploring this world together, and enjoying the discoveries, and honoring how those discoveries shape how you think and feel. It is experiencing life’s opportunities, and sharing insights with each other on how those experiences stretch your understanding in becoming more aware of the divine nature within us all. It is providing opportunities to reach, to learn, to understand, to ponder, to reflect, to grow into the greatness we each possess within ourselves, for ourselves, whatever that may be.

Very powerful, wonderful and amazing to someone like me to finally realize that, as I stand on this threshold, with my children that I am not alone with these thoughts and that I CAN choose this path for my family. Quite a revelation!

Unschooling is expecting the unexpected. i.e. Set out 3-D house puzzles with some mini cars and Marble works all on the same table last night thinking 4yo nephew and 11yo dd would see them and go to town. Caught the 13yo happily playing with the goodies for two hours today! Then bil came in and made a beeline for the mini cars. Thought he was going to make off with a few! Fun, fun, fun.

It’s having respect for each other and It’s retracing ourselves and showing that respect in every action we take.
It’s living a rich and happy life.
It’s hearing your heart and creating your life accordingly!
It’s keeping yourSelf (children and adults) intact and Whole.
Unschooling is authentic.

It’s finding one’s own path
It’s allowing a child’s identity to unfold naturally
It’s about family.
It’s about living in the moment.
It’s about becoming.
It’s about joyful and honest relationships with those around you.
It’s about knowing yourself.
It’s about getting to know your children.

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For many of us that went to school, we learned that “learning” required a time, a place, and a ton of homework. For me it was a negative experience and I loathed the weekly ritual. Our “free-time” was either scheduled, earned, or usually from some form of a reward either for our good behavior or for selling boxes of candy to raise money for the facility. Never a time chosen by ourselves when we wanted this break or rest. Fortunately, both of my children, Autumn and Chloe, are natural- learners. Over the years, they both have taught themselves most of what they know, either from library books, websites, weekly field trips, and living life NOT behind a fence for 35 hours a week. They even have their own ebay business just for kicks. While living side by side with the girls, and by allowing them to pick and choose their activities, my old “schooling ideas” thankfully have become a part of my past.

Being able to seek what is enjoyable for us to learn about is so important. Watching and evolving with my children as an unschooling parent has been such a rewarding and educational experience and continues to be a way of life for myself. By allowing myself to let go of my old institutionalized methods that I attained from attending a private school and a public school, and by having very disciplinary type parents, I have rediscovered that learning is a fun part of life, not a required activity to achieve a grade. While Autumn and Chloe are such different human beings with completely different likes and interest, unschooling has allowed each of them to evolve into such interesting and happy people. Thankfully by researching and learning about deschooling, my participation in this phenomenom called unschooling would never have been attained if I hadn’t deschooled along with my children.

I would like to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite unschooling pioneers. John Taylor Gatto, from “How public education cripples our kids and why.”

“After a long life, and thirty years in the public school trenches, I’ve concluded that genius is as common as dirt. We suppress our genius only because we haven’t yet figured out how to manage a population of educated men and women. The solution, I think, is simple and glorious. Let them manage themselves.”

written by Kimberly Sharpe Slage

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I could probably take up pages on how the public schools affected my life negatively and mentally on a day to day basis and how I am now completely free of the unnecessary stress and control… but that’s a whole other article. Today, I’m here to explain to you my transition from being a full time Unschooler to starting College. Your probably thinking, wait. An Unschooler starting college? Thats crazy talk! Or, how did she manage to do that? Well hopefully all of your unanswered questions (and doubts) will be answered as you continue reading this article.

My first day of technical school was a little scary. I wasn’t sure what to expect or what to encounter. For all I knew, there could be evil teachers with rulers.. or students queued up in silent, straight lines. There wasn’t. Basically when I walk in everyday, there’s a big cafeteria with teens and adults chatting away. As I make my way to the elevators they have a security guard that asks to see your school badge. Then I finally take the elevator down to the basement were the 3D Animation room awaits me. My sanctuary!! Haha. I enjoy my class very much and am glad I decided to take it. I no longer have the fear that when I think of “learning”, in a place other than home, you are at school becoming a programmed robot. In reality, your learning everyday wether it’s the mistakes you make, or a simple trip to the library. Your minds constantly working and getting smarter as you grow older and wiser. Instinctively we want to learn. It’s how we are designed naturally.

Don’t get me wrong, I did have some road blocks along the way. One of the toughest things I had to accomplish before I could even start the class, was the TABE Level D. I was really anxious because I hadn’t taken a real “test” since 6th grade. I immediately raced over to Barnes and Noble the week before the test and picked up a copy of a book called TABE: Level D. I basically learned everything I needed to know for the test in a few days. Soon enough the day came. I was so nervous my hands were shaking. On top of that, I had to pay a $27.50 testing fee.. So I new I had to get this right the first time. I sat at the testing station for a good hour and a half. At the time I thought for sure I’d fail. Turns out, I was wrong on that…..I got all high scores. I was so proud, and felt as if a HUGE brick was lifted off my shoulders. It was wonderful!! I also had to have an interview with the instructor of the class. Not a problem either.

Starting college and being an Unschooler may be a little scary at first. Through your journey your confidence will grow and so will your knowledge. Both of mine increased tremendously. I enjoy what I’m doing and am looking forward to continuing a life full of doing what I love. I always like to say: “ Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” These words of Confucious are ones everyone should follow. Now please, go for your dreams and go with all your heart.

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When my family sat down in 2006 to discuss the possibility of homeschooling the first method of learning we all agreed on was called Natural Learning, Child-led Learning, or better referred to as Unschooling. The choice to home educate was very scary for all of us to make, not because we doubted our capabilities, but because we did not know anyone who lived an unschooling life. The majority of the people we were coming in contact with followed some form of curriculum or structured schedule based on control. In the end, our final decision to unschool has been an exciting journey of love, warmth and unimaginable closeness.

Along with unschooling, being a peaceful parent were terms I had never heard or used for that matter. Up until six years ago when my youngest daughter, Chloe, then 6,was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, we would never have considered home educating our children. Kids went to a place called school and that was that. Well, little did we know at the time, that along with learning to administer insulin doses, control carbs and change a ton of our habits, we were about to embark on a whole other way of existence called unschooling.

Although we were not strict disciplinary parents, we did have bed times, reading schedules and we also assigned chores for each child. I still remember both children asking me to buy them curriculum and tell them what to do each day. In public school every choice about what to learn had been assigned. They were not given the ability to decide what they felt was interesting or important. I supported their needs as best I could by purchasing curriculum and giving them “school” assignments. However, it did not take long for the kids and I to realize that they could teach themselves, choose their interest without me leading or forcing them. They had inner gifts that they would soon discover just by being left alone.

Autumn, my daughter who will turn 18 this November has enrolled in a technical school/college credit course. She scored so high on her entrance exam that she was awarded free tuition. She recently has discovered that she enjoys painting with oils and has decided to start her own business by selling her work at local art gatherings. My youngest daughter Chloe has such an enormous love for animals and science that she has created her own youtube channel where she shares videos with those who are interested in learning about the care of small animals. Her goal as of today is to become a vet with her own television show.

Instinctively we all want to learn, some at different stages in one’s development. Since allowing my children to express themselves without judgment, they are discovering inner gifts that they probably would not have embarked on if they had been left in the school system. I’m not anti-school, anti-rules, or anti-choice, but I have learned to be more trusting, less controlling and more loving, caring and compassionate with my children. A lot of this I owe to our discussion to lead an unschooling life.

By Kimberly Sharpe

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ASK… LISTEN… AND LISTEN DEEPER

ASK….
Ask your child to make a list of all the things she wants to know more about. You may be very surprised. Follow through on this information and provider her with materials, books, teachers if appropriate, and opportunities to explore her interests. Encouraging your child’s natural inquisitiveness about all things nourishes her soul.

LISTEN…
Often a child will talk to a neighbor or friend instead of directly to you. Are there enough of these removed listeners in your child’s life? Can you be a receiving adult for a child other than your own?

LISTEN DEEPER…
Perhaps you are open and available to listen to your child but feel there is more that you need to know. Try talking directly to your child’s soul, guardian angel, or spirit. Get quiet and mentally ask if there is something you need to be aware of. You can ask for a picture or message that will help you parent in a deeper way. Listen to the thoughts that come.

PARENTS’ INSIGHT-BUILDING EXERCISE

Think of a time when you were heard as a child.

- Who listened?
- How did it feel to be heard?
- What did you say that was acknowledged?
- How does that experience live with you today?

Now think back to a time when you were there to listen to your child.

- What was that like?
- Why were you available to listen? Had you made time? Was your child demanding you stop and listen?
- What did you hear?
- How did your child react when you listened?

Ask for guidance this week on how to best hear your children’s needs. Ask for divine insight into ways you can help give your child’s feelings a voice.

Now let go and remain open to receiving insight and guidance. Listen to the subtle ways your inner wisdom is revealed.

Trust your ideas and insights; YOU are wise.

*Mimi Doe is the founder of Spiritual Parenting.com and the award-winning author of “Nurturing Your Teenager’s Soul”, “Busy But Balanced”, “10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting”, and co-author of “Don’t’ Worry Get In”. Mimi’s free newsletter, Spiritual Parenting, has more than 30m000 subscribers from around the world. Sign up on the website: www.SpiritualParenting.com.

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Elizabeth and Teddy Dean are learning about the Italian scientist Galileo, so they troop into the kitchen, where their mother Lisa starts by reviewing some facts about the Renaissance. Elizabeth, 11, and Teddy, 8, have never gone to school.
Their teachers are primarily their parents, which puts them into what is believed to be the fastest-growing sector of the U.S. education system — the homeschool movement.
For their science lesson, Teddy and Elizabeth are joined by three other homeschooled children and their mother, who live down the street in their suburb midway between Baltimore and Washington, D.C.
Before the lesson starts, all five kids change into Renaissance costumes — long dresses and bonnets for the girls, tunics and swords for the boys. “We definitely have a lot more fun than kids who go to school,” Elizabeth said.

Nobody is quite sure exactly how many American children are being taught at home. The National Center for Education Statistics, in a 2003 survey, put the number that year at 1.1 million. The Home School Legal Defense Association, which represents some 80,000 member families, says the figure now is quite a bit higher — between 1.7 and 2.1 million.
But there is no disagreement about the explosive growth of the movement — 29 percent from 1999 to 2003 according to the NCES study, or 7 to 15 percent a year according to HSLDA.

This growth has spawned an estimated $750 million a year market supplying parents with teaching aids and lesson plans to fit every religious and political philosophy. Homeschooled children regularly show up in the finals of national spelling competitions, generating publicity for the movement.

Parents cite many reasons for deciding to opt out of formal education and teach their children at home. In the NCES study, 31 percent said they were concerned about drugs, safety or negative peer pressure in schools; 30 percent wanted to provide religious or moral instruction while 16 percent said they were dissatisfied with academic standards in their local schools.

“I wasn’t sold on the idea of institutionalized education. It’s a factory approach — one size fits all,” said Isabel Lyman, author of “The Homeschooling Revolution,” who taught both of her now-grown sons at home.
“The schools take all the joy out of learning. They don’t take account of a particular child’s interests, needs and development. The whole system is anti-child,” she said.

Regulation, instruction varyDifferent states take widely varying approaches to homeschooling. Some, like New York and Pennsylvania, require that the parents submit lesson plans four times a year and regularly test the children.

Others, like Texas, basically leave them alone. So there is little reliable data on how they are doing, said University of Colorado education professor Kevin Welner.

“There are popular myths that homeschooled children are socially inept, cloistered kids and that they are either illiterate or academic wunderkinds. Anecdotes aside, we simply don’t have the data to make such generalizations,” he said.

“Some children will get top-notch instruction. Others will get poor or minimal instruction. Obviously it will vary by parent,” he said.

Even the cliche that the majority of homeschooled children are evangelical Christians is outdated, if it was ever true.

The movement remains overwhelmingly white and middle class but it is growing fast among black and Hispanic families and becoming more politically and religiously diverse as well.

Some parents follow an educational philosophy known as “unschooling,” where the children are encouraged to follow their own interests rather than adhering to a fixed curriculum.

Laura Derrick, president of the National Home Education Network, has followed this philosophy with her 14-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter. “My son learned to read before he was 3 and I realized then we were working better than any school program ever designed,” she said. “Children are born wanting to learn.”

Lisa Dean, who was a lawyer before she became a mother, said homeschooling her children was tremendously rewarding but also very exhausting. “It’s a long day with the kids. I look forward to when my husband comes home,” she said.

She also has backup from a local group of 70 homeschooling families who organize group field trips and extracurricular activities. Her children both take lessons in Celtic music on the fiddle, play soccer and basketball and have tried classes in art, hip-hop dancing and kick boxing.

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We’ve had so much going on recently that I thought it would be nice to show a week in my unschoolers lives, instead of just one day. Enjoy!

Making pillows they received for Christmas:

Playing basketball:

Going to Girl Scouts:

LOL….getting tickled:

Going to the Museum of Natural History, for the Amazon Voyage exhibit, with friends:

Helping dad make yummy sauce:

Making Gummi Bears (more in another post):

In between these pictures was a lot of playing Guitar Hero on PS2, reading the Twilight series, writing stories about fairies, playing Golden Compass on wii, phone calls from friends, internet surfing, day dreaming, playing Scattegories, going to the park with friends and much, much more.

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For those who’ve never heard of deschooling, it’s the process one goes through after leaving an institutionalized schooling environment. Your child has probably their natural desire to learn squashed and will need time to recover from that. With a parent’s help, they can gain back most, if not all of what they lost and begin to see the world as a place where learning is enjoyable and all around us.

So, what can the parent do to help? We have to work on changing our own preconceived notions about education, learning and school. I hear about many parents taking their kids out of school, recreating the same forced learning environment at home, only to have it come to a crashing halt with the mom feeling like a failure and the kids being miserable. Maybe, if they would have given themselves, and their children, some time to deschool, it would have turned out different for all of them.

My husband Billy & I started reading John Taylor Gatto even before removing our children from school. That was the start of my deschooling. I started to become aware of my thoughts on public school, real learning and education. And I started to question those thoughts. Thoughts that I had always accepted, without question because “that’s the way it’s always been done.”

I had been a “good” student (except in high school when all hell broke loose), meaning I did what I was told and made good grades. I wasn’t picked on, I had friends and got along with the teachers. But it was the thoughts about real life and real learning that I got from school that did the most damage.

I remember having to take a cooking class in junior high school. I hated it and got a very low grade on my report card. There it was, in black & white…I failed at cooking. Surprise, surprise…today, I hate cooking and have no confidence in my ability to cook something edible. (Although this serves me well because Billy does 99% of the cooking-lol). Someone, who never met me, decided it was time for me to learn to cook, and because I wasn’t interested at that time and found it boring, I was labeled “poor” in cooking. I never gave it any thought until I started deschooling. It wasn’t like it crushed me when I got my report card. Rather it confirmed that the reason I must have found the class boring was because I wasn’t good at it.

I began questioning why we, as parents, allow the school system to continue having control over our children when the school day ends. I’ve had teachers give me weekly lists of things for my children to do at home. I’ve heard many parents tell their kids “You can’t go out (or play) until you do your homework”. Suppose I want to do something with my family and homework is interfering with that? Why are they telling my children what to do when they’re in their own home?

I questioned why we’re expected to live by school policy at home. There had been many times when my children come home, the day before the standardized tests, and let me know that the teacher told the class to tell their parents that they need to eat a good breakfast the next morning. And then hand me a list of what exactly the school’s version of a good breakfast consists of. Why does the school system think they can dictate what parents and children do at home? Because we let them do it. Yes, WE LET THEM.

Once these thoughts started swirling around in my mind, there was no going back to my old way of thinking. I also started to become aware of other people’s thoughts about learning and education. Soon after I removed my kids from school, we ran into a friend and her son. It was close to the end of the school year and the mother asked if we “take a break for the summer”. I explained that we learn all the time and that learning is all around us. I went on to say that it would be like taking a break from breathing. As they walked away I heard her say to her son , “See, they have to do school work every single day, even in summer!”.

*sigh*

I recall a parent, of a schooled child, asking me how my kids do P.E. being they’re not in school. Who in their right mind would depend on the public school system for physical activity? It’s as if physical activity is only a subject, to be taken just at times that the school dictates. Ridiculous!

I also did a lot of reading during that first year of deschooling. My two main sources were the message board at unschooling.com which are now closed and Sandra Dodd‘s site. I read almost everything on both sites and I could feel my thoughts and perspective changing as I read more and more.

Although that was back in 2004, I feel like my deschooling is a work in progress. I’ve learned so much about myself that it became more of a spiritual awakening than anything related to school. School-speak seems like a foreign language to me now. I see what REAL learning is everyday with my children.

It looks nothing like school.

*originally written in 2004: updated in 2008*

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