Often, those questions are a reflection of how little the adult asking remembers of what they learned during their own time in school. I’ve sometimes asked why we believe that lessons learned in school, and quickly forgotten, are necessary to learn at all.

Part of embracing unschooling is acknowledging that our unschooler won’t learn everything that is taught in school. Similarly, no student in school learns all the material. Some students learn most of the material taught; most students learn some of the material taught; some of them never learn enough to graduate and ultimately drop out. Of those students who learn most of the material, few of them retain all they’ve learned in school. I’ve found it helpful to remember that attending school is no guarantee a child will learn what someone else thinks he or she needs to know.

Think about the things you know today, the facts that you access daily. How many of them were learned outside of school? Did you learn each of your skills in the same way? Did every skill you learned require a teacher? My husband and I are confident that the things our children learn, will be what they need to know. We’re also sure that they’ll learn in the ways that work best for them, which makes it more likely they’ll retain what they learn. More important to us, our children will recognize that they can learn what they need to know when they need it.

In the almost ten years since we decided not to send our younger sons to school, we’ve watched as they learned to read, write, and solve math problems; as they learned about history, social issues, and health; as they become more adept at social situations and being a good friend, and more. It’s not unusual for me to begin to share some bit of knowledge I think is important, only to find my child already knows it.
We’ve watched both the younger boys, (Andy is 15, Dan is 10) learn from a variety of sources. Somewhere along the way, Andy apparently heard that you don’t learn anything valuable from tv, because he delights in saying, “I learned that on tv”. In fact, Andy learned to read by watching tv. When he was 6 he was a big fan of Pokemon cartoons, and wanted to know all the words to the theme songs for his favorite shows. We showed Andy how to set up the closed captioning for the tv, and how to rewind the recorded shows to catch all the words in the songs. Next thing we knew, Andy was reading street signs, and we could no longer spell words we didn’t want him to overhear! In the years since, Andy has become a voracious reader and a real stickler for proper grammar.

Dan learned to write before he could read, with no help. One day when he was 7, he asked me how to spell ‘help’. I was cooking so without looking to see what he was up to, I spelled the word for him. A few minutes later, he brought me a sign he’d made that read “HELP ME DAN”, very neatly written. Currently, at 10, Dan is becoming quite a reader, too. Just last week he pointed to a sign and told me what he used to think it said, before he could read. He’s really become quite adept at reading long words.

I grew up doing what I call ‘math as parlor tricks’. By this I mean, I do most math in my head, although I tend to check my work on paper when it’s important. Naturally, when our boys needed help using math to figure out more than they could count on their fingers, I shared with them my mental math skills. Not surprisingly, both boys prefer to do math in their heads, and are quite good at that method. We’ve shown them how to do math on paper, if only to check their work.

Recently, Andy asked me the meaning of pi. I told him that pi is written as 3.141519 (and so on), represents the ratio of the arc of a circle, and is used to determine the circumference of a circle. Actually, first I tried to push the question off to Gary, whose understanding of geometry is more complete than mine, but Andy wasn’t having any of that. He wanted me to explain how to find the circumference, and how to do it in his head. I said ‘you multiply the radius by pi’ to which Andy said, “no Mom, you multiply the diameter by pi”. I replied that I tend to confuse diameter and radius, so it seemed he already knew more about it than I remembered from my days in high school. I talked about my process for creating math formulas, and came up with one to estimate the circumference of a circle in our heads. In no time, Andy was figuring out good estimates on his own, which we checked by measuring a circle on paper.

It helps to remember that unschooling doesn’t mean just letting a child figure out the whole world on his or her own. We spend so much of our time with the boys just talking, about everything from current events and world affairs to relationships to science concepts and more. My favorite learning moments come from our conversations. The more bits and pieces of the world a person discovers or hears about, the more connections we can make. Often one of the boys will say, “oh, you mean like that story on the news about…..” tying two separate events together, making comparisons and contrasts.

Both boys are very curious about figures of speech lately. Often I’m explaining phrases like “read the riot act” or “got the drop on”. It’s impossible to explain American idioms without touching on history, social attitudes, politics or science, which of course expands one’s understanding of how interconnected everything is. Sometimes I make a point of using a less-known idiom when sharing a story with them, just for the opportunity to explain what it means, because I can count on the boys to ask.

When I say we trust the boys will learn, it’s so much more than sitting back with some blind belief that learning will magically happen; it’s an active trust, one that calls us to be ever more present with our children, and blesses us with so many unexpected joys and wonders along the way.

Written by Sylvia Toyama with trust and love

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I could probably take up pages on how the public schools affected my life negatively and mentally on a day to day basis and how I am now completely free of the unnecessary stress and control… but that’s a whole other article. Today, I’m here to explain to you my transition from being a full time Unschooler to starting College. Your probably thinking, wait. An Unschooler starting college? Thats crazy talk! Or, how did she manage to do that? Well hopefully all of your unanswered questions (and doubts) will be answered as you continue reading this article.

My first day of technical school was a little scary. I wasn’t sure what to expect or what to encounter. For all I knew, there could be evil teachers with rulers.. or students queued up in silent, straight lines. There wasn’t. Basically when I walk in everyday, there’s a big cafeteria with teens and adults chatting away. As I make my way to the elevators they have a security guard that asks to see your school badge. Then I finally take the elevator down to the basement were the 3D Animation room awaits me. My sanctuary!! Haha. I enjoy my class very much and am glad I decided to take it. I no longer have the fear that when I think of “learning”, in a place other than home, you are at school becoming a programmed robot. In reality, your learning everyday wether it’s the mistakes you make, or a simple trip to the library. Your minds constantly working and getting smarter as you grow older and wiser. Instinctively we want to learn. It’s how we are designed naturally.

Don’t get me wrong, I did have some road blocks along the way. One of the toughest things I had to accomplish before I could even start the class, was the TABE Level D. I was really anxious because I hadn’t taken a real “test” since 6th grade. I immediately raced over to Barnes and Noble the week before the test and picked up a copy of a book called TABE: Level D. I basically learned everything I needed to know for the test in a few days. Soon enough the day came. I was so nervous my hands were shaking. On top of that, I had to pay a $27.50 testing fee.. So I new I had to get this right the first time. I sat at the testing station for a good hour and a half. At the time I thought for sure I’d fail. Turns out, I was wrong on that…..I got all high scores. I was so proud, and felt as if a HUGE brick was lifted off my shoulders. It was wonderful!! I also had to have an interview with the instructor of the class. Not a problem either.

Starting college and being an Unschooler may be a little scary at first. Through your journey your confidence will grow and so will your knowledge. Both of mine increased tremendously. I enjoy what I’m doing and am looking forward to continuing a life full of doing what I love. I always like to say: “ Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” These words of Confucious are ones everyone should follow. Now please, go for your dreams and go with all your heart.

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I probably won’t be around much until after the holidays. This is the first year without mom (today is 5 months and I’m feeling it) and there’s just to much going on right now.

I’ll be back on and off through the month.

According to Google Analytics, there have been 1,799 views for Unschooling Voices #10 and there have been 819 total outbound links from the time it was posted until yesterday morning.