** This was written two years ago (2008) on my 45th birthday. My 47th birthday is approaching in two weeks and I wanted to revisit this while I continue to update my blog posts after my move from blogger.com.**
*~~ Today is my birthday and I’m 45 years old. ~~*
I’ve always enjoyed gaining another year under my belt. Even the supposed hard ones, like turning 30 or 40, were welcomed with open arms. I wore each year proudly, almost like a badge of honor.
This is the first year that it’s difficult, but not because of the number 45. Difficult because it’s my first time having a birthday without my mother here with me. (Actually, it’s my first birthday without either of my parents, my father passed away 20 years ago).
Throughout my life, my mother I always had a very strong and close connection. She was my mother and my friend and I miss her so much. I always shared my birthday with her because it was “our” day. I always bought flowers for her on my birthday, as a thank you for having me. This year I’ll buy them and place them near her urn. I think that will make me feel better than not buying them at all.
I’ve learned some valuable life lessons so far and I look forward to learning more in the next 45 years.
45 things I’ve learned in the first 45 years of my life.
1. Time may heal most wounds, but not all.
2. Love is not always the answer
3. Life is what you make it.
4. Real friends come through for you when you need them the most.
5. The public school system in this country sucks and is getting worse every day.
6. Unschooling rocks!
7. Hurt people hurt others.
8. We are all connected
9. Religion can sometimes do more to separate people than bring them together.
10. Hard rock is best served LOUD.
11. Biology doesn’t make a family.
12. Chocolate does make things better
13. My mother was right when she said “This too shall pass”
14. People may try to hang their baggage on you…don’t let them.
15. When people come together, in the wake of a tragedy, it’s a beautiful thing to be part of. (RIP to all the souls killed on September 11, 2001)
16. Change is growth
17. Dogs are great friends
18. Don’t listen to the attendant – lift those hands up when you’re on a roller coaster!
19. Al Sharpton truly is a jackass.
20. There are times in our life when we just have to move on.
21. Always, always listen to your gut instinct.
22. Take responsibility for what you say
23. Take responsibility for your actions.
24. Sometimes revenge feels good
25. It’s a good idea to take a deep breathe before saying something you might regret
26. Some people come in to your life for a short time but you remember them forever.
27. Never gossip about someone in a public restroom.
28. Doctors do not always know what their talking about.
29. DCF/CPS/DSS does not always have the best interest of the child at heart.
30. Learning is everywhere
31. Being the white parent of two brown skinned children, I’ve found racism in places I wouldn’t expect.
32. I am a REAL parent. If you ask me where my kids real parents are, I’m going to slap you.
33. My kids are my REAL kids. If you ask me why I don’t have kids “of my own”, I’m going to slap you again.
34. People who say #32 and #33 are misinformed about adoption and have no idea what they’re talking about.
35. I’ve never been mainstream or traditional
36. I have met some really cool people through the internet.
37. I will never be a follower.
38. New York City is the best place on earth
39. My husband will always be a 16 year old at heart
40. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission (thanks Elenore Roosevelt)
41. Just because you’ve always done something a certain way, doesn’t mean it’s the right way
42. If I don’t write it down, I’ll forget it.
43. Animals deserve to be treated with respect
44. I feel at home in a book store
45. Life is short – make the most of it