Update on Unschooling Voices #8

*updated post on bottom*

I’m going to have to hold off on putting it together this month (March edition: #8) due to some issues in our family that need my focus and time. My mom is in the hospital and things with Cimion are very stressful right now. Unschooling Voices is something I put a lot of pride into and I don’t want to just slap it together.

Keep sending in your submissions and I’ll have #8 out on April 1st. Here’s the link to read past editions or get information on how you can participate. Thanks for understanding.

*update* I know I was vague in my original post and I decided to add a few more details because it’s such an important part of our adoption journey (which I documented on this blog).
At the time we adopted our children they were 5, 8 & 11. They’re now 8, 11 & 14. (They’re biological siblings) The older two suffered severe abuse and extreme neglect while still in their birth home and emotional trauma in foster care (they were is foster care for four years) and they both came to us very angry and hostile children but over time (and with a lot of help) my middle child has overcome a lot of the obstacles that stood in her way of having a happy life. My oldest has not and instead has continued on his downward spiral. Over the last few months he has increasingly become more violent, angry and aggressive…mostly towards me. I was prepared for this early in our adoption process….having talked extensively with his caseworkers and therapists about how *in his mind*, the love from a mother equals pain and abuse and he will do all he can to push me away to protect himself from my “love”.
I’m not sure where we’ll go from here. We’re just as committed to him as they day we became his parents, although we know we cannot be responsible parents to any of our children while living with someone full of anger and agression.
Please keep Cimion in your thoughts. Through this whole ordeal, my heart goes out to him because he struggles with psycological issues that were put upon him by the same adults who should have had his best interest at heart.
Please also keep my mother in your thoughts. She’s been my rock for so long and it’s very hard to see her health declining. She’s the ultimate optimist, always looking at the bright side and always grateful for each new day. I’ve learned so much from her and my husband and daughters adore her. She was supposed to come out of the hospital but she fell in their bathroom and needs to stay longer now.
Thank you for leaving such thoughful comments. It really helped me to read them and I appreciate your taking the time to write it.

Town Hall Meeting

Shawna has been interested in colonial and early America for quite some time and that interest has taken her in many directions. She was especially interested in learning how the original govenment was set up and what the different branches are responsible for. When I heard there was going to be a town hall meeting in our neighborhood with Congressman Stearns, the girls wanted to go, so Billy took them.

They both found it interesting and were glad they went. Jacqueline said that one woman asked about illegal immigrants and another man asked about taxes. Billy also asked the congressman for his opinion on the fair tax bill. Since then, many discussions have come from this one meeting, and I suspect, many more will follow. One of the things we talked about was Jacqueline’s opinion of the woman asking about illegal immigrants. She felt the woman was racist and didn’t want people of other skin colors in our country.

I love that my unschooled children viewed this as an opportunity to experience something new, much like our recent visit to the medieval faire. They felt no pressure to prove what they learned, there was no test to pass, no grade to get. They attended simply because they wanted to…because they’re interested in the life around them and their place in it.

Jacqueline’s story in ‘Connections’

My daughter, Jacqueline had one of her stories published in the February issue of Connections, which is an ezine of unschooling and mindful parents. She’s very excited. It was her first story and it’s called Princess Barbie. Here’s the link to it posted on my blog.

Check out the free issue of Connections when you have some time. Danielle does a great job and it’s only $10 for the year.

Birds that share our yard (robin)

**update** Thanks to Susan and ‘Q’ for helping out with the name of this bird**

I’m not that familiar (yet) with the names of the different types of birds that visit our yard but I love watching them from our windows.

Anybody know what type of bird this is?

Interesting article on parents who adopt.

Study: Adoptive Parents Get High Marks
By DAVID CRARY
AP National WriterFebruary 12, 2007 NEW YORK

Adoptive parents invest more time and financial resources in their children than biological parents, according to a new national study challenging arguments that have been used to oppose same-sex marriage and gay adoption.

The study, published in the new issue of the American Sociological Review, found that couples who adopt spend more money on their children and invest more time on such activities as reading to them, eating together and talking with them about their problems.

“One of the reasons adoptive parents invest more is that they really want children, and they go to extraordinary means to have them,” Indiana University sociologist Brian Powell, one of the study’s three co-authors, said in a telephone interview Monday.

“Adoptive parents face a culture where, to many other people, adoption is not real parenthood,” Powell said. “What they’re trying to do is compensate. … They recognize the barriers they face, and it sets the stage for them to be better parents.”

Powell and his colleagues examined data from 13,000 households with first-graders in the family. The data was part of a detailed survey called the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study, sponsored by the U.S. Department of Education and other agencies.

The researchers said 161 families in the survey were headed by two adoptive parents, and they rated better overall than families with biological parents on an array of criteria — including helping with homework, parental involvement in school, exposure to cultural activities and family attendance at religious services. The only category in which adoptive parents fared worse was the frequency of talking with parents of other children.

The researchers noted that adoptive couples, in general, were older and wealthier than biological parents, but said the adoptive parents still had an advantage — albeit smaller — when the data was reanalyzed to account for income inequality.

In particular, the researchers said, adoptive parents had a pronounced edge over single-parent and stepparent families.

The researchers said their findings call into question the long-standing argument that children are best off with their biological parents. Such arguments were included in state Supreme Court rulings last year in New York and Washington that upheld laws against same-sex marriage.

The researchers said gay and lesbian parents may react to discrimination by taking extra, compensatory steps to promote their children’s welfare.

“Ironically, the same social context that creates struggles for these alternative families may also set the stage for them to excel in some measures of parenting,” the study concluded.

An opponent of same-sex marriage, Peter Sprigg of the conservative Family Research Council, noted that the study focused on male/female adoptive couples, not on same-sex couples, and he questioned whether it shed any new light on adoptive parenting by gays. Sprigg, the research council’s vice president for policy, said he warmly supports adoption, but believes it is best undertaken by married, heterosexual couples.

Another conservative analyst, psychologist Bill Maier of Focus on the Family, said the authors of the new study seemed to be pursuing a political agenda in support of gay marriage. “Put simply, gay adoption creates families that are motherless or fatherless by design, permanently depriving children of either a mother or a father,” Maier said.

Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, welcomed the study’s findings, but cautioned against possibly exaggerated interpretations of it.

“It’s an affirmation that there are all sorts of families that are good for kids,” he said. “Adoptive parents aren’t less good or better. They just bring different benefits to the table. In terms of how families are formed, it should be a level playing field.”

The study was funded by the National Science Foundation, the Spencer Foundation and the American Educational Research Association. Powell’s co-authors were Laura Hamilton, a doctoral student at Indiana University, and Simon Cheng, a sociology professor at the University of Connecticut.